Monthly Archives: February 2013

The Winter Blues

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It seems like Winter will never end some years. Then other years, like this one, winter never seems to even get going.  These past few months make it seem like Mother Nature just can’t make up her mind. We got our first snow really late, then it warmed up and melted, rinse and repeat a few times.

So now, at the end of February, its sunny and over 40 degrees outside. Everything is melting again and it smells like spring. Yet tomorrow we’re due another snow storm with up to 6 inches of snow. Im sure it’ll warm up again and it’ll all melt… again.

It’s slightly aggravating.  Especially for someone like me who tends to get a bit depressed during the winter months.  Thankfully there is more daylight now and better yet we’re comimg up on daylight savings time again.  So there’s that… but Christ, could the snow just melt and stay melted already?  Its like nature’s version of a cock tease… and I’m getting the feeling shes not going to put out.

All I know is that I’d rather be shopping for my flowers than dreading shoveling snow again.

6 Things Adults Lied To Me About When I Was A Child

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1. You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!

No actually you can’t.  Not with in reason anyway.  When I was a kid I had a new life long dream every week, my teachers did their best to encourage me and let me know that if I just worked hard enough I could do whatever it was that week.  No one prepares you for the real world figures.  College is expensive, student loans are gay, and that if you have no artistic talent it’ll be hard to support a family on water color paintings (because art supplies are ALSO expensive).  I never made it to be president/supreme ruler and being a lawyer and a doctor didn’t happen either.  Asshats.

2. Just ignore the bullies and they’ll go away.

False.  Bullies do not go away, even if you spend an entire fucking year pretending that they fell down a well and no fluffy collie dog came to save them so they drowned. Bullies are assholes and they are persistent.  Oh and while we’re on the topic? Telling the teacher didn’t fix anything either.  You know what did? One solitary face punch.  Seriously, it worked.  It was worth the suspension, and you know what?  Fuck it.  What did R’s mom say that I agree with?  If they don’t respect you, make them respect you.  Fighting is bad, but so is bullying.

3. Eat your carrots, they help your eyes! 

My grandmother was really big on this.  ”Eat your carrots, so you won’t have to wear glasses!”  Lies.  I love carrots, especially slathered in ranch, and guess what grandma, I have had glasses since 5th grade, just like my mom, YOU, and every other fucking relative.

4. You need to learn math, you’ll use Algebra every single day! 

No. I do not.  I have not used a single freaking thing from algebra or trig or any other mundane math class.  You know what I use?  Excel.  Excel spreadsheets.  I type in the fucking problem, hit “=” and BAM.  Problem solved.  I have yet to look at anything as a Algebra problem. Oh and for the record? I slept through Statistics, and have yet to have that moment where I’m all “Man, I should have paid attention in college, I could really have used that Statistics class.” No.  I’d like to go back and throat punch my old Algebra teacher.

5. Don’t drink that! Coffee will stunt your growth!

Yeah, okay.  So I’m 5’4”.  I have been drinking coffee constantly for 15 years.  I’m not short because I drink coffee, I’m short because my mother was 5’3″, because my Dad isn’t super talk either.  I’m short(er) because I come from a family that didn’t hit their heads on the damn door frame when they walked through.  I WILL find that 6’6″ guy who drank coffee at 5 years old just to show everyone. Coffee is good, so bite me.

6. A steady bed time is good for kids, GO TO BED! 

Oh mom and dad, oh I get it now.  While yes, a steady bed time is good for kids (for many reasons) this one was oh so selfish of you.  When I went to bed at night, you guys didn’t just sit there wishing I could be up and talking to you (still), you two were basically celebrating the fact that you had 8-10 hours to sleep, eat, drink like a fish, and listen to the silence or anything else that didn’t consist of Fraggle Rock or “Mom, Mom, MOM LOOK AT THIS!”  I get it now, I get it.  I totally do, *my* mini me has been singing along to the Kids Bop version of a Lady Gaga song for about 10 minutes now.  I UNDERSTAND.

Valentine’s Day and Loving People

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Welp, another year has passed and its here again. Valentine’s Day. You know, the day where social media is overwhelmed with either singletons whining about how its a meaningless hallmark holiday or pictures of roses, chocolate or proclamations of love.

I used to be in the anti-valentine’s day club. You know, crazy freshly divorced lady. My biggest argument was that you shouldn’t need a single day to make you want to do things for significant other but should all the time.

I still believe that, but I guess you could say that the thought process is expanding.  Now, at 21 + 5 and on my 2nd Valentine’s Day with not-my-ex-husband, I’m adding to my old ideas.

Yes, you should be wonderful to your significant other every day.  You should. You shouldn’t need a reason to show your love. However, if you’re in a relationship where your partner treats you like you’re the got-damned Queen (or King) why is it so wrong to use a hallmark holiday to go one more step? Why not use it as an excuse to do something nice?

Its not. Simple as that. I think that by now we all know it’s a hallmark holiday but all of us know that it also sucks to be single on a holiday that seems to be aimed solely at couples. People who indulge in Valentine’s Day dont have horrible relationships where their partner is horrible to them on the other 364 days of the year. They are in a relationship where thier partner was thoughtful enough to indulge in a silly holiday. 

More importantly. Its not about just couples, at least not to me. Yes, the boyfriend and I celebrated and I got a sappy card and present. However I also spoiled my daughter with candy and a stuffed animal. We made Valentine’s Day cards for her grandparents and I took time to appreciate those who I love, those who love me.

So I guess I’m done being a hater. Vday is okay in my book, maybe its because Im in a long-term relationship.  Maybe its because I’m getting older. But maybe instead of focusing on who we dont have in our lives, we should focus on who we do.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

A-Pick-Me-Up

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Because... Duh!

Because… Duh!

 

Sometimes when you’re down on your luck, angry or hurting, only a good friend can cheer you up.  I’m lucky, I have a handful of very good friends, and a handful of ladies who I could consider my best friends.  Through out these past few years I’ve learned a lot about friends, and what a friendship is really made up of.  Some of these lessons were painful to learn, but the more painful the lesson, the more important and vital it was.

Today, I’ve been grumpy all day.  I haven’t been feeling good thanks to a long-lasting cold (my compromised immune system blows) and my Crohn’s acting up.  Just a plain awful mood.  I felt like laying in bed, but instead dragged my butt to work and did what I had to do and more.  By the time I got home I was ready to curl up into a ball and sleep.  Ryan told me I had received a card from someone and he left it on the Kitchen Table.  So I open it up and instantly smiled.  A thoughtful card and a handwritten message from a friend made my day.  I wouldn’t use that gay saying “turned that frown upside down” but I wasn’t near tears anymore.

Sometimes the simplest things can fix a bad mood, and a card from a friend after a hard day can cheer you up.  It was just an awesome reminder at the end of my day that I am very lucky to have such great friends.  It also reminded me to return the favor and pay it forward.

Over the years, friendships have died, exploded and spontaneously combusted and I’ve learned.  Real friends can live next-door or across the continent.  Real friends could see you every day or you may have never met in person.  Real friends won’t give up when you’re a shit-head and stand by you when the going gets tough.  I’ve learned that sometimes a skype or phone coffee date is more meaningful than weekly ritual ones.  I’ve learned that taking care of a friends teddy bear means more than a lot of people know.  I’ve learned that friendship isn’t defined by simple terms, but by how much you care about someone.

So to my friends, I love you guys.