Category Archives: adult time

Respect. Or lack there of. Or throat punching.

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Dealing with the general public, as well as working in a close-knit office reiterates the one cardinal rule I have.  Treat me with respect or do not expect it in return.  Better yet?  You better be good at high-blocking because I’m most likely pondering throat-punching you.

I am a people person.  I do best in large crowds or in big groups of friends, I can feign interest in almost everything and I can treat the person I’d like to feed to hungry lions like my best friend.  Call it a talent.  I am respectful.  I treat everyone with respect unless they disrespect me.  Or hell, if you’re just rude.

It’s a pretty simple idea in life folks.  If you want something, be nice to the person you’re asking.  If someone is helping you out, help them out in return or wait… you could always… say thank you.  Some of the basic lack of manners in this world honest to god shock the hell out of me.

Most of this is just coming from working with the public, again, even though the last time I swore I wouldn’t.  Some of this is coming from past experience.  A bit of it is coming from my peers, not really friends, but people in the same circles.  It’s called being a grown-up folks, you’d think people in their twenties and thirties could manage this but apparently not.

Respect.  I respect your decision to go back to school, or not.  I respect your decision to get your own place, or live with family.  I respect your relationships or lack there of.  I listen, give my opinion and then wish you the best.  It’s a damned shame that people can’t give that in return.

I am a single mom, I am saving money currently, especially with the Christmas season coming around.  So making fun of me for deciding to stay in, not spend money on new clothes, or dinners out, isn’t getting you anywhere but on my shit list.

My decision to put off school for a while longer was and is a deeply thought out choice.  I have a lot going on, and adding school to the list isn’t going to help anything.  So reminding me of my almost complete bachelors as well as the fact that I’m not getting any younger isn’t very nice.  I don’t remind you that I work twice as many hours and make damn near $15,000 a year more than you do.

My relationship, both my boyfriend and my friends.  I love my friends, and will do almost anything for them, and I’m aware that some of them are what you consider “trouble makers”.  Regardless, they’ve saved my ass, from calling an ambulance for me after a med interaction to picking me up when I was stranded, to defending me from my ex husband’s attacks to convincing me to plan out my future.  I love them, and because you can’t seem to keep your mouth shut, doesn’t mean I not going to hang out with them.  Oh yeah.  And the boyfriend.  Yes.  I haven’t killed him yet.  He’s a sweetheart, and those of you know me know that I’m relatively possessive.  No, I don’t care if he has female friends, or goes to a strip club, or whatever (I get strip club rights too… and spending money :)) but however, if you cross that line, if you KNOWINGLY cross that line, I will throat punch you.

My child.  Ohhhhh the arguments I’ve gotten into regarding how I raise my daughter.  From daycare to vaccinations, from clothing to toys, from her lack-of-dad situation to how much I work.  I don’t mention that your 5 year old still rides in a stoller and has a binky, why?  I don’t care, it’s your parenting.  So please respect my decisions and butt out.

The fact of the matter is, I do my best to not judge other’s decisions or lifestyle or whatever you may please…. until you disrespect me.  As soon as that happens, it’s fair game, and trust me, as others have recently found out, it won’t be pleasant.

Until then? See you on the flipside.

Insert into Slot A. (Sexual Compatibility)

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Warning:  This blog is down right dirty (written worse though) and will contain “sexual language” and “naughty words”.  I suggest if you’re easily offended, extremely conservative, or under age, please skip this entry.  Kthxbai.

So I was reading through TruuConfessions.com (if you haven’t visited that site yet, you should, it’s full of win) and I came upon a confession in the “Wife” section that had me shaking my head.  Yes.  Despite being divorced, I still read the wife section.  Shut up.

Anyway.  It was about this woman whose husband had wanted to save sex for marriage.  So they did.  The never did bump uglies up until after they had signed the papers.  She goes on to confess that the sex is less than awesome, that she never achieves an orgasm and she doesn’t know if she can handle that “until death do us part”.  She has talked to him, but it never improves according to this woman.

Okay clearing this up before I get called a liberal hippie/monsterish whore.  I have NO problem with other people saving themselves for marriage.  I don’t.  Whether it be morals, health or religion, it’s YOUR choice when you’re going to share your body with someone else.  However when problems like the above arise, I willlllll shake my head.

There are so many “rules and regulations” when it comes to sex and dating now days.  I honestly wasn’t aware of any of them until I got out of high school and am still learning new ones and receiving unwarranted opinions every day.  I’ve heard them all.  Guys don’t like girls who give it up right away.  Guys like girls who give it up by the 3rd date.  Girls think you should wait a month.  3 months.  FOREVER.  You name it and I’ve heard it.  Some of these rules make me grimace but whatever.

The point being is that you should jump in between the sheets when YOU are comfortable.  Not when the rules say so, or your bed mate says so.  That being said… I’m a huge fan of getting it on BEFORE you’re married… or hell… before you even move in together.  For me, being sexually compatible with someone is a MUST for the relationship to thrive (or actually barely start in my personal experience, but that’s another blog).  My main point is the confession I wrote about above.  I would shoot myself (or divorce – haha – yeah I just put that out there) if my husband wasn’t good enough or my type in bed.

So what it comes down to I guess is that you can wait until marriage and risk being stuck with someone until the end (or a good divorce attorney comes along) who doesn’t please you in bed.  OOOOR you can bump uglies at some point earlier to make sure.

Don’t jip yourselves ladies and gentlemen.  Seriously.

Right on. :)

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Being single is a lot rougher than I thought.  Really is.  The amount of fail-dates I’ve been on is pure comedy.  You know how it goes though, you break up with someone and then you try to get back out there and see what’s there.  Try to  move on and have a life.  Then you have those dates where you compare them to your ex, it never ends well, and regardless of reality, they just don’t hold up to those “high standards” (which my ex actually set, no not Tim) that you now have.   Then you go on those dates where you think “Man, he sure is a nice guy, he’d be really great for me… but why don’t I like him?”

All the while you are watching your friends and family snuggling up to their significant others and reading those cutesy-I-threw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little posts on facebook about love and such.  That’s honestly the hardest part.  I’ve been in long term relationships with a total of a year break for 10 years.  Being single is honest to god new to me.  It’s hard to watch your loved ones build lives with their significant others, and come home to an empty house.  It’s hard.  It’s lonely.

You know though, I’ve been picky this time by choice.  I’ve been in sooo many screwed up relationships (ie: all of them minus the last one), I just can’t settle.  My standards are soo ridiculously high that I may or may not have a future as the crazy cat lady.  That’s what I’m going for though, no not that cat part people, finding someone who meets all of my standards, that I actually 100% want.  End of story.

Then someone gives you hope.  Then there is that date with instant chemistry.  Where you sit there, smiling from ear to ear.  Where you have so much in common you literally kick your own ass to make sure you’re sober and awake.  Where you’re driving in the car, and he turns up YOUR favorite song, because guess what.  He loves it too.  That one date that when you see him you think “Damn, he ((or she)) is totally out of my league” and then they sit down next to you.

I’ve spent a long time wondering if there was someone ELSE out there for me.  Someone that made me melt so much that I have no choice in grinning from ear to ear, some one who knocks me out of the “Sarah-the-badass” persona with out even trying.  (dammit.)

Turns out that there is.  Turns out that maybe I’m not “chronically single”, that maybe I was just waiting for someone in specific.  This guy makes want to drop my collection and dive in head first (which I won’t, the latter I mean.  I’ve already dropped the majority of my collection).  I’m happy for the moment and am still going to go slow, but it just feels good to know that there IS other people out there for me, people that won’t laugh when I bust ass on a 80 (much), and will go out dancing with me regardless.  :)  Here’s to the future folks, maybe in some time, I’ll be posting lovey facebook statuses.  okay.  I won’t, but you know what I mean.

 

:)

Since I have to get up early…

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… instead of sleeping I’ll write a blog.

So while in my classroom portion of my motorcycle safety class I pondered many things (seeing as how the fact that the teacher had to go over what side the clutch is on 3 times I quit listening).  A couple of my friends are in new relationships, and the opportunity to be in a relationship is poking it’s head out at me repeatedly, and it makes me wonder what the hell happened.

It seems like people jump the gun too much lately, I mean for my taste.  Boom meet boy, boom you’re dating, boom you moved in with him, boom getting married.  Oh god please don’t insert baby in that mixture.  I mean, I’ve moved fast in the past and I just don’t understand it anymore.  I kind of catch a lot of shit for it too.  As I said to someone the other day, I move slow… like molasses baby.

I refuse to dive head (or ovaries) first into a relationship (again).  Period.  I want to know someone extremely well before I claim them as mine.  I want to take time.  Time to talk over coffee, go out to dinner, figure out if we have at least some of the same hobbies.  You know.  Get to KNOW the guy.  I’m not much one for wasting time.  So no, I will not waste months on someone just to figure out “well, hey I guess we’re NOT that compatible after all” or to discover the that they way they chew makes me cringe and think about stabbing them in their sleep.

It’s called dating people.  Seriously.  Now the “new” dating where you meet someone and you think you like them and all of a sudden you’re exclusive.  No.  Dating as in you go out on DATES (thank god I’ve finally met someone who understands this, lets just hope it continues) and get to know each other.  Then down the line you become exclusive.  Is that too old, or hell too new fashioned for society today?  I’ve had people nudge me in the ribs and say, so are you his girlfriend yet?  NO.  I’ve known him for 2 weeks.  Hell, that doesn’t even work if I’ve known you for longer.

Why the rush?  What could possibly go wrong by waiting?  You discover you don’t like him that much? Or worse, he discovers he doesn’t like you?  In my minds eye that’s the way it should be.  You can still do things like support each other with out the title.  You can still cuddle.  And OH! Gasp!  Have sex!  But why tie yourself to someone else so quickly?

I guess I’m just out of the loop.  Too old/new fashioned.  Maybe this is why I’m Chronically Single, but you know what?  I’d rather spend my time getting to know a man and making sure he’s right for me.  I like to take my time baby, and if you don’t want to spend yours then…. I guess it’s your loss. :)

Jack, Hard Cider and my Liver.

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So lets start with the day before yesterday, I was showering and the dogs started barking.  I jump out and get dressed, look out the door, and there is Mr. Nikk.  After a slight problem with his car, it got impounded, so he had gotten dropped off at my house.  The morning was spend consuming coffee and my brand new banana bread recipe (gluten free baby).  I swear, my kidneys were trying to jump out of my body, and the banana bread caused a foodgasm.  We started trying to brainstorm what to do about his car and were about to give up and our friend Josh called.  After some threatening, he agreed to help out and come up and hang out. 

Josh is an old friend of mine.  I haven’t seen him in around 7 years.  Yeah. 

So anyway, after a trip to get his car, that failed, we met Josh at my house.  Piled back in the car, got his car, dropped Rob off, and came back to the house.  Josh is Noodle’s new best friend.  All the while in the car, she was playing peek-a-boo with him, which was explained to be mentally and physically draining because of how much energy was put into it.  After we got back to the house, she attached herself to him.  It was cute, but mildly annoying lol.  Anyway, after Nood went to bed, they had some beers and I had myself some whiskey (I still refuse to buy the gluten free beer and put myself into debt) and we sat and smoked, talked and reminisced.  I spend the majority of my drunk time laughing that them, and threatening Josh to bring his wife up to meet me. 

Yesterday, I spent the morning talking to Tabs (my next-door neighbor) and cleaning after my dogs DESTROYED my couch (I guess that gets bumped to the top of the list of things I need to buy).  Around 2 or 3 I went and picked up Nikk and we stopped and got some steaks and soda.  Back home.  Josh and his wonderful wife show up, and I am enamored with her.  She’s such a sweetheart.  Noodle attaches herself to Josh for a little while and we eat.  After Nood went to bed, Kenz came over to watch her, and we all headed out for some drinks.  Ended up at some dive the boys were familiar with and had some drinks and told stories.  Followed by coffee and home. 

I’m actually sad that it’s over.  Granted, Josh is from the old days, and hanging out with him and Nikk at the same time really remind me of the fun times (and not so fun, but funny now times) and I kinda miss it.  That and his wife was adorable! 

Either way it was fun to get out and have adult time.  <3

I’m off to mommy-work again. 

And hating my liver.