Things tend to get hellish in my life… usually right when I get on the straight and narrow road to improvement.
I lost a friend a couple of weeks ago, and didn’t find out until 2 days ago. Apparently I’m hard to track down. Adam was a friend from my troubled days as a teenager. I attribute most of my successes in life to him pushing me to do better. He taught me to live my life for every moment, not just the future. I will miss him dearly, but the part of me he kept with him has finally passed on. I feel like I’m finally a new person, which gives me new hope for the future. Old Sarah has finally went away, and the person Adam helped me form is here at the fore front.
I am most definitely going to live life to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I still have all of my long term plans, but I will not let the small moments pass me by. Life is nothing but memories, and it’s only as good as we make them. I’ve lost a lot of friends in the past 10 years, but the one thing all of this horrible death has taught me is that you have to cherish each and every moment! That applies to everyone, not just the friends whom I’ve lost to death. I tend to move through friends quickly. Either we go our separate ways, they move away, or I do my own thing. I’ve lost a lot of people one way or another, and while it hurts to lose a friend(s), I’ll always have memories.
You have to give life a chance, give happiness a chance. If you don’t, you’ll just end up regretting not trying. Everyone gets hurt in the end, one way or another, but the way I look at it, is even if you get hurt, if your heart ends up in pain, you’ll still have that bit of happy memories to store away for the future. A lot of people are afraid of that hurt, and I am too at times, but I refuse to give up a moments of happiness because of a what if.
Take chances, you’ll never know how things will turn out. Live it. Love it. Choke on it.