So look back, don’t turn away.

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And in my life you can find, everything you wanna take away.

Okay.  I realize I’m hallucinating, but it’s cool.  The warm(er) weather has got me thinking Spring, which even though it’s not true, is helping chase away the seasonal depression.  I still have a lot of crap going on, but the idea of it being in the 30’s and the fact that I can open a window to air out the house helps my mood.  It made my day when I had to roll out of bed at 6:45am to shut the blinds…. the sun is coming back!!

So I try real hard, not to see, what you’ve done to me.
There won’t be any silence until I’m gone.

So shit is still real fucked up in my world.  I’m falling really far behind on finances.  I’ve been searching and searching for a 2nd job, but to no avail.  I’m starting to get scared, honest to god.  I don’t know how other people do this whole divorce thing… seriously, especially Stay at Home Moms.  It’s almost as if the system is built to fail us, contrary to popular belief.  You always hear about how wives take their husbands for everything their worth… so go figure,  I try and be nice and not screw anyone over, and I end up in a huge hole.  Oh well, I figure karma is going to be after someone after all of this is done

I’m making it a point to turn my world around.  I mean in the past year I’ve taken several strides to do so, but I need to get my ass in gear to make this 100%.  If you want something done, sometimes only you can do it.

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