Surprising, but yet, not unexpected

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So a handful of people know I’ve been having a hard time lately. Today, for some reason, it has hit a breaking point. Today, I cracked and asked anyone and everyone for help. I don’t even know what would help, but I know that I needed someone. I stepped out of my emotionless character and opened myself. I showed the world I wasn’t strong enough.

You want to know what I learned? I learned who my real friends are. Let’s just say that they are far fewer than I had thought. Far Far fewer. The ones who did inquire, I am grateful for, I am, but the people I call my family haven’t even asked. Except for Mandy, thanks hun, I love you.

I realize that some people were/are intimidated by me, and that it’s a major shocker to see me break down. But that should really say something, especially to my inner circle. When I’m asking for help, in a public forum much less, as well as through personal text messages, something is wrong.

What does it matter though I guess. I will find a way to deal with all of this mess on my own, like I always do. It wouldve been nice to have my “support system” near me, but maybe I imagined the whole thing.

Hell, one of my supposed good friends mocked me on facebook because of it.

So that just proves it. Back to the poker face. now I know T was right, I need to clear my life of the garbage people and move on.

So moving on it is. Keep it keep it real. Keep it keep it moving. And FUCK Lake County.

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