Emotions Just Burn Me Out.


[Life is just the memories we make]

My motto is hard to live by when you know it is going to hurt in the end, but I refuse to give it up.  Life is only memories.  Make as many good memories as you can, otherwise you’ll just regret it and spend your life going “What if?”.  I hate the What Ifs.  They drive me up a wall, so I take every chance I have just so I can say I gave it my all.  The worst that can happen?  You get hurt, you get upset, but you have a few more memories to look back on.

I can say that now I’m raising my standards.

So what I guess I’m getting at is you have to take a chance.  That’s all I’ve been doing since T and I split up, and I have had so many good memories made!  I’m sure one thing will end soon, but months and months worth of good memories is worth the ache.  I know I’ll be kicking myself  when the time comes, but in the end, it’ll be worth it, and I’ll be a different person yet again.

Every single person you meet, changes who you are.  They can have a negative impact on you, or a positive.  I may come out of this with an ache, but my standards are raised.  I’m learning how to open up to people.  I’m learning how to trust someone with my feelings.  I’m learning how to not be self-conscious about what I want and like.  Most importantly, I’m learning how to let people know I’m not super woman, that I need help, that I need a hug sometimes.  That I have emotions beyond my “emotion switch”.  So this half a year or whatever is going to change who I am as a whole, and it means a lot to me because of that.  So purely on that note, I don’t regret anything.  I know regardless I will be a better person, and will better my life because of it.

The ache sure does suck though.


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