Timing can eat it.

Standard

“So tell me now, if this aint love then how do we get out?”
Rise Against “Savior”

So I am convinced that I have epically bad timing.  Or rather that “timing” has a vendetta against me.  I’m talking about everything here folks.  The timing doesn’t seem right for me to continue school sometimes, I meet people at the wrong times and it doesn’t pan out, my job may go under at the wrong time, my cat gets sick with bad timing.

*facestab*
(Thanks B, totally stealing that)

Usually, I’d say move on and make it the right timing, but god damnit, it’d be nice for things to just fall into place for a change.  All of this chaos that is also known as my life is really getting on my nerves.  I have this weird vision for how I want my life to play out, and the reality of it just doesn’t fit into that mold.  I want to be in school full time, but again, being a single mom, the timing just aint right.  I met my future ex-husband, and if I had waited until he had gotten his shit together, it might’ve worked, but of course my timing was off and I dove face first into the pavement.  I met a good friend of mine, had it been months earlier, we’d actually go far, but nope, I’m only like a year late lol.  I met a new friend that I wish I had known years ago, but instead we’re playing jigsaw with what we want.  I jumped back into an industry that I was familar with back during my teens, but back then I thought the timing was wrong and moved on.  Turns out, I’m 10 years behind lol.

I just seems like if everything was altered just a little bit, it would work out.  *If* this, *If* that.  While it’s humorous to look back on, I just hate it now.  Why couldn’t I have done this then?  Why couldn’t I have thought of this before?  Why couldn’t I have met so and so before this was set in stone?  I’m left with enough Whys and What Ifs to last me a millennium.

“Would it have worked out?”
“Would I be as interested?”
“Would I have been up and running by now?”
“Would I lose a friend still?”
“Would I be here?”

Would I be happy?
Would I be who I am today?

Advertisements

Reply, do it, you know you want to!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s