How do I?

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I don’t know how I manage to do this, my emotions just irritate me.  Honest to god.  Why can’t I go after someone I can have?  You’d think that would make more sense… but noooooo, I take the route of broken hearts and bottles of jack.

Sometimes it really gets me down, you know?  I mean, I know what I’m doing, and I know it’s going to hurt in the end, but I still love every moment.  Each day that passes, it turns more into something I dream of.  Something I want.  Each day that passes gets me closer to losing it.  The sad part is, is that I don’t even have the courage to say anything beyond the obvious.  Yeah.  Miss Sarah.  The girl who never shuts up and chimes in with her opinion too much, won’t say anything.  I guess I’m just scared it’ll all go away then.  I don’t know.  I guess I’m just stupid.  Very Very Stupid Girl.

The only time I’m not thinking about the end is in the moment.

I have to say something before the end.  I’ll regret it every day if I don’t.

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