Okay. So. I’ve discovered I’m about as easily amused as a 8 year old boy. I giggle at all the wrong times. If someone says Boobs, I can’t help but smile. The word Vagina? I’m rolling. Imagine me in Sex Ed. You know. With the bananas? And condoms? And the word intercourse? Oh god please stop.
Maybe I have some growing up to do, but whatever. It amuses me. Just be glad you don’t have to sleep with me. I am usually smart enough to keep my comments to myself, but just occasionally I may comment on how a ballsack looks like a brain (Irony, no?) or how I wish I had a penis so I could “bone” everyone.
Seriously. Penises. Guys are soooo lucky. They can pee where they want (well, so can I, but it’s waaayyyy too much work for me, and I’m too lazy), scratch their balls when they want (well, I can itch my va-jay-jay but people look at me weird) and most importantly… they can do funny things with them. Like tuck them between their legs (Thank you Simon for forever ingraining that vision in my head), or wiggle their hips. Or the best yet? Put it on a girls shoulder while say… she’s checking her email. The world should be glad I don’t have a penis. I think I’d be in jail. For sure.
So to leave you with the word of the week, which you should all appreciate….
Bow down and remember 5th grade.