Because Life Starts Now. And I haven’t had my coffee.


Oh boy.  This is going to be one of those sleep deprived days.  That’s the one thing about summer that gets on my nerves.  I love the weather sooo much, no matter what time I fall asleep (which is really late lately, thank you fuck-me-in-the-ass-insomnia you can go to hell) I wake up relatively early.  As soon as I open my eyes and see it’s nice out, my brain will NOT let me go back to sleep.  I swear.  I can finish a pint of jack at 3am, pass out and be up by 7 whether or not it’s healthy for the rest of the world.

I got up this morning, realized in the process of my 4-hour-“good-night”, I lost my clothes.  So I grabbed my hot pink robe, made my coffee and stumbled across the street to get my mail.  Yeah.  Because getting yesterdays mail at 9:30am in a short SHORT FUCKING OH MY GOD SHORT hot pink robe when you can’t even walk straight yet is a GREAT idea.  Granted the guy driving the huuuge digger liked it enough to wave and say “good morning” after one of those creepy toe to head check out things guys do.  “Good Morning” “No.  Early morning.  I am going to eat your eyeballs in my breakfast cereal now.  Stop looking at my ass.  I know it sticks out.  Thank you.  *stab* “

I am not the most pleasant person first thing in the morning.  I need at least one cup of coffee and 4 hours of sleep to qualify as a human being. Nick should remember that.  Driving up to Wisco I think I tried to eat his brains like 4 times after picking a fight. Mandy’s prolly seen it too.  I grumble a lot.  I bitch a lot.  Sometimes I turn to Cannibalism. Sometimes I smile and pretend I’m choking you going back to sleep.

Ahh.  See I’m a wonderful person ALL day.  Not just when I’m retarded at 2 am.  You’re jealous.  Admit it.  NOW GET ME SOME MORE FREAKING COFFEE.


So I guess I’m a responsible working member of society again.  Or more responsible.  Or something.  (Can you start your day off with a shot of jack and be responsible?  Ugh. I thought not.  *puts jack back in fridge*).  I got hired yesterday morning for that “Chicago Grille” I had interviewed at on Monday, which by the way, interviews at 10am on Monday mornings are not the funnest idea out there.  Trust me.  I may be awake but I’m still a few millimetres off that early.  So dude calls me yesterday morning, does his song and dance about how he thinks I’ll go far and he’s impressed with how “driven” I am and my “outgoing personality” (wow seriously society?  figure out something else to say about me… DOWN EGO DOWN).  So I told him I’d call him today.  I had to work last night, so I went down to work and told my boss that I was offered a job that paid more with more hours.  I also mentioned that I really liked working there and was sad to go.  I mean come on now, who doesn’t like chasing people around snapping napkins and going to the gunshow?!  She offered me the option to work Sundays and Mondays ( my off days ) during the day.  I may just take her up on Sundays and maaaybe mondays.  Depends on how worn out I get at the grille.  So I technically have two jobs.  Which is good.  Need money.


Oh. And I still need more coffee.  Whose getting it for me?


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