But But But I Have a Helmet!!


Wow, today has been a freakin’ trip, this morning started off bad, but jesus, what a day.

So this morning Tim’s truck wouldn’t start so I had to drive Noodle over to his house.  Which is fine and dandy but he didn’t tell me that until he was supposed to be here.  So I had to haul ass to Waukegan (30 minutes) then to work (an hour).  Barely made it on time!  So I get there and start my shift.  It was pretty rocky but it went by fast.  I was supposed to work a double today, and in between shifts if we’re slow I have around an hour to kill.  I was bitching up a storm about having nothing to do, and my co-worker decided to take me to coffee.  So I got free starbucks!  We sat outside and bitched about healthcare and jobs.

On our way back to work (well for me), I spotted our day cook, who I’ve been working at to get out of his shell.  You know, the norm, throwing lemons at him, high fiving him at the most awkward moments, and disco dancing before clocking in.  The other cooks and chef (Kira) have grown to tolerate me, love me, or hate me.  He’s loving it… until Kira told him to stop high fiving (why the hell am I not allowed to high five anyone?!).  So I see him walking to his truck, and I lean out dude’s car window and yell “MOVING HIGH FIVE”.  He totally did it and cheered.  Luther Village-0, Sarah-1, I keep my soul another day.

So I go and sit down in the smokers area to have one last smoke before starting my shift.  Two of the maintenance men come out and light up.  I usually don’t talk to them (Nick and …. Joe?) because our shifts don’t usually overlap.  So we introduce ourselves.  Two of the coolest guys I’ve met in a long time.  We were talking about the smoking ban (we’re no longer going to be able to smoke in our hidey hole after October 1st, because it’s not looked good upon and you know, we’re not adults with rights or anything) and it mutated into who could haul ass across the huge parking lot off property to light up the fastest.  Seeing as how there’s me, a 60 year old man and a 200+ lb 30 something… yeah I won.  So after that and many jokes about my different uniforms, I decided to go inside.

I  get inside and run face first into my boss (The Director) Rebbecca.  A little background:  Her and I get along solely because we’re both freshly divorced and single parents, other than our haircuts and that, we’re polar opposites but she’s been taking care of me which I’ll get to later.  She asks me to go home because apparently there were way too many servers and too few reservations.  Seeing as how I was on the double, logically I’m the first cut.  I agreed even though I needed the hours.

So before I change out of my second uniform into my street clothes (today: Jeans and wife beater) we start talking about random shit before I leave.  I asked her if I could leave my car late night after a shift once in a while when I go out with my cook county buddies.  I have a date tonight and am supposed to go riding, assuming I was still working I didn’t want to drop my car off 45 minutes north and have dude come get me.  So she offers to let me use HER parking spot or Kira’s (I laughed for a good 5 minutes at Kira’s face at that comment).  Then she asks me if I like to ride motorcycles.  I explain that I don’t have my own, but have a couple in mind that I want to get next spring.  That I just go riding with friends as of now, or borrow a friends dirtbike for the boonies.  So she asks if I’m going riding, I say later.  She goes “WITH NO SLEEVES?!?” and starts lecturing me.  So I’m sitting there in my uniform getting lectured about not having a riding jacket AT WORK by MY BIGGEST BOSS.  All I could think of was “Well my helmets in the car”.  We both look at eachother, look around and realize everyones frozen and looking at us and start laughing.  To paint the scene better… my boss is about my height, my hair color and skin color.  Wears nothing but heels and dresses, has a designer purse and her make up is so perfect where as mine resembles a 14 year olds most days.  Now throw her on a bike and apparently you have my new riding partner in the spring.  :) hahaha.  As all of this is playing out, Juan(ita – lol they love my nicknames) walks past shaking his head and says “Only in Luther Village”.  *Snort*

Now in parting, I’ll leave you today’s kitchen dance song (which is strangly all over the radio which really surprises me)


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