*Sighs* I have had one of those epic fail realizations… you know the kind where you wonder if you can buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a 5th of Jack, and a 2 liter of coke and crawl back to the couch before your kid notices? Yeah. Pretty damn close. It’s okay though. I guess. It’s almost time to escape.
So as some of you may have noticed, I keep plotting an escape this weekend, or my weekend (Saturday night-Monday). I’m driving up north to my family’s property after work tomorrow with a friend and am staying 2 nights. Mostly to just get away and relax. The plan was to stay until Monday early afternoon and then head home so I can get my scrawny little ass to the city for some dancing.
In my fantasy world (also known as how things are supposed to go), Tim would’ve picked her up tomorrow morning at 9am so I could head to work at 9:30 until 8pm. Then I would head up north and back and he would drop her off mid afternoon on Monday. (Drop off is around 3pm).
In the real world. Tim’s truck is *still* broke down (going on 3 weeks here) and yet again I have to drive her. So either tonight after I get off work or tomorrow morning before I go to work, I will be adding an hour to my drive time to drop her off. You know, most of the time I don’t mind but it’s court appointed that *he* does all driving. For numerous reasons. But whatev right? What’s an extra hour on an hour long commute anyway. *headdesk*
So I text Tim yesterday afternoon to double check on drop off times since I still have to drive her and he says he has to work at 8am. He’s starting a new job. Well that’s great! I ask him what he’s going to do with Noodle. He says he wants me to pick her up at 6am. Wait… what? I tell him I have plans to be up north. He informs me that I have to pick up Noodle at 6am because it’s not his job to work around my schedule. I caved… for a little while.
I did some thinking.
First off. This current visitation arrangement was designed by HIM. Not me. He came up with it. I have free right to make plans when Noodle is scheduled to be with him. Why should I have to cancel my mini vacay?
Second off. So he thinks that because he has to work, I should have to drop what I’m doing to come and pick Noodle up? Okay, well he sure as hell doesn’t watch her when I work! This week she’s been with Mandy (her babysitter) going on 5 days! If I have her and I have to work, I have to get a sitter. If I want to go out, I have to get a sitter. If I want to do anything not kid related… sitter. My world revolves around her. Why doesn’t his? Why shouldn’t he have to arrange his schedule and/or get a sitter when he has her? Hell. He only has her 2 days.
Third off. He does not pay his child support. He is court ordered since June to pay $75/month to me. He is 3 months behind. It would be one thing if I had money, but up until now I’ve been just as broke as he is (aka remember when Nicor shut off my gas?!). Yet, I’m the one who has to provide a roof/utilities for my daughter, who had to buy her a new car seat because she outgrew/broke hers. I’m the one who bought her new shoes and an outfit since NONE of her clothes fit for this fall. I’m the one who puts food in her mouth and provides daycare. I do not think $75/month is too much to ask. But I’ve kept my mouth shut. Now add in the transportation… yeah.
M pointed out to me last night that whether or not I noticed, which I didn’t, Tim has me wrapped around his finger. I rearrange my schedule for him. I pay him. I send her with clothes. I drive her. I accommodate him in every way possible.
I understand he “got a job” (after losing the last three because he smoked pot), good for him. But next time, he needs to think before he agrees to start work if he has his daughter. The proper response to said employer should’ve been “Let me check my schedule, I’ll call you right back”.
(it’s been fixed since)
So from now on. I’m putting my foot down.