Eat this and Choke on it

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Dear (apparently) Ex- Friend,

I logged onto my facebook this morning after a great night out, minus “fighting” with you over text message, to find out you deleted me.  So by facebook status, we are no longer friends.  So I guess I’ll no longer have someone stalking my page and “liking” random shit that you have no idea about.  I guess I’ll no longer have to see numerous updates about your band and the ONE song that was posted.  *Sigh* I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the vacancy on my main page!

Last night, I had fun.  Last night you were ridiculous.  I decided to go to the city on a whim to go dancing, and as I always do, I sent you a text and invited you.  I started doing that after a whine-session you had when I didn’t invite you to the Dolphin once.  I went with my best friend.  I invited you, and half way through you said you actually weren’t coming because you didn’t want to be a third wheel.  What.  Did you think I was wandering the city alone? I told you to just come out, that it’s pretty lame that you don’t want to hang when it’s just you and me.  If you haven’t figured THAT out yet, I’m just not that kind of girl.  You eventually showed up after telling me I better dance with you instead of getting “all awkward” and dancing with Bryan.  I told you Bry is my neighbor, we go dancing together (with a group of friends) a lot and to can the crap.  So what did you do?  Stand by the speakers and look forlorn?  Like a lost puppy?  What was I doing (hell, Robert doing?)?  Dancing.  I tried to make it fun and come talk to you, but you just drank and looked cranky.  So I left after being there for 4 hours.  So you fight with me over texts?  Wow.  That’s adult of you.

Apparently I’m supposed to bend at a whim for you?

It took last night to realize our friendship wasn’t true.  You live an hour and a half away from me, and the only time we hang out is if I go down there or you come meet me in the city.  You get pissed if I’m not right by your side each time.  You completely take advantage of my time and tell me all your problems with your love life, which is fine, if you took even the slightest bit of time to hear about my life.

So in a friendship you have equal parts of sharing, travel, talking, and fun.  It was one-sided and last night I finally realized it.  So thank you Facebook for cementing our “unfriending” (lmao!).  It was time to clear the muck out of my eyes, and it took me until last night to realize you were part of the problem.

Nice knowing yah, don’t choke on your microphone.

The Keez.

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