Being single is a lot rougher than I thought. Really is. The amount of fail-dates I’ve been on is pure comedy. You know how it goes though, you break up with someone and then you try to get back out there and see what’s there. Try to move on and have a life. Then you have those dates where you compare them to your ex, it never ends well, and regardless of reality, they just don’t hold up to those “high standards” (which my ex actually set, no not Tim) that you now have. Then you go on those dates where you think “Man, he sure is a nice guy, he’d be really great for me… but why don’t I like him?”
All the while you are watching your friends and family snuggling up to their significant others and reading those cutesy-I-threw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little posts on facebook about love and such. That’s honestly the hardest part. I’ve been in long term relationships with a total of a year break for 10 years. Being single is honest to god new to me. It’s hard to watch your loved ones build lives with their significant others, and come home to an empty house. It’s hard. It’s lonely.
You know though, I’ve been picky this time by choice. I’ve been in sooo many screwed up relationships (ie: all of them minus the last one), I just can’t settle. My standards are soo ridiculously high that I may or may not have a future as the crazy cat lady. That’s what I’m going for though, no not that cat part people, finding someone who meets all of my standards, that I actually 100% want. End of story.
Then someone gives you hope. Then there is that date with instant chemistry. Where you sit there, smiling from ear to ear. Where you have so much in common you literally kick your own ass to make sure you’re sober and awake. Where you’re driving in the car, and he turns up YOUR favorite song, because guess what. He loves it too. That one date that when you see him you think “Damn, he ((or she)) is totally out of my league” and then they sit down next to you.
I’ve spent a long time wondering if there was someone ELSE out there for me. Someone that made me melt so much that I have no choice in grinning from ear to ear, some one who knocks me out of the “Sarah-the-badass” persona with out even trying. (dammit.)
Turns out that there is. Turns out that maybe I’m not “chronically single”, that maybe I was just waiting for someone in specific. This guy makes want to drop my collection and dive in head first (which I won’t, the latter I mean. I’ve already dropped the majority of my collection). I’m happy for the moment and am still going to go slow, but it just feels good to know that there IS other people out there for me, people that won’t laugh when I bust ass on a 80 (much), and will go out dancing with me regardless. :) Here’s to the future folks, maybe in some time, I’ll be posting lovey facebook statuses. okay. I won’t, but you know what I mean.