Me: I wonder if its strange that I talk to myself.
Myself: eh probably. But what else are you going to do? Talk to the mutts? They just sniff your crotch and stare at you.
Me: yeah which is either flattering or insulting. I haven’t decided yet.
Myself: is that why you showered? I would. But then again.. it seems like I’m the sane half.
Me: the fact that you said “half” states otherwise. Ftw.
Myself: dude. You just shook your fist at the wall whilst talking to Myself. I think I win this round. Oh and flabby arm jiggles activate!
Me: seriously go to hell. I thought we decided to refer to it as sleeping muscle. Jesus, I can’t even agree on a personal insult when talking to Myself. Is there any Xanax in the house?