“You look more like a girl tonight” O rlly. STFU kthxbai


So for my last kid free night of the week, I went over to my favorite bar for a few drinks with friends.  It’s a local bar and yes, I’m a regular (as much as you can be as a single mother).  It’s nice to have a place like that, if I’m at home and bored/lonely/antsy/angry/happy/homicidal (and sans child) I know I can show up and chances are I’ll know most of the people in there.  It’s like home base.  Music, dancing, pool, drinks, food, friends.  It works for me.

Anyway, so I headed up there last night and of course had a blast.  At some point in the night I ran into one of my girlfriends friends.  Nice enough guy I guess, I’ve only actually met him twice.  So it was all like…

Hey! Your in my bar! What’s up!?

“Not much, have you seen (insert girl’s name here) tonight? I figured she’d be out.”

Nope.  No clue.  She comes out with my posse on Saturday.”

*I start wandering off*

“Sarah, you look pretty good tonight.”

You mean you like how I smell of whiskey and cigarettes and my man boots?  Saaweeet!

“No seriously, you look more like a girl tonight.”

Uhhh kaaaay. I’m dressed how I’m always dressed but sure

“No, you look more like a girl.  I like it.”


After that awkward exchange of words, I kept my feminine ass on the opposite side of the bar because frankly, I didn’t know I looked like a girl, or more of a girl, or on other days less like a girl.  As my real life friends know, I tend to lack in the girl department.  I can rock the hell out of a mini skirt and tank, but quite honestly, I’m myself in my tank tops and jeans.  I love stilettos, but if I’m going dancing, I’m wearing beat up sneakers.  What’s the point of getting a manicure if I’m just going to fukk it up when I’m elbow deep trying to fix my water heater?

So I guess I was thrown off.  Last night I had ratty jeans on, men’s snow boots, and a gnarly shirt.  Oh and my friend’s oversized scarf…. which smelled like whiskey and smoke.  Out of all the glittery, dress pants, mini skirted up girls in the bar, I had the least bit of femininity.  Usually I look a biiiit more girly… as in… with my tank top I look like I miiight not be a 12 year old boy.  But still.

What was it last night that made me more “girl”?  Why is it more acceptable for me to look more like a girl then myself?  I mean, I’m honestly curious?  How am I supposed to dress to go to the pub?  I need enlightening here dammit!  I guess I really don’t pay that much attention to my attire, unless I’m going to a gay club, but that’s besides the point.


It’s been a weird decade in style for me.  10 years ago I was a metal head/darkcore kid.  I wore pants with legs I could fit 7 midgets under.  My shirts?  XXL.  I had spike collars, plastic bracelets and short spikey hair and dark make up (ie I looked like a retard).  8 years ago I got into punk rock.  I had super short hair, plaid pants, facial piercings, tattoos, and combat boots.  If I couldn’t sew a patch on it, I wasn’t interested.  Then I shaved up and entered the SHARP scene.  Chelsey hair cut, button downs, flight jackets and denim.  Then around 4 years ago, I… um… found myself (for lack of better terms).

I rock what is comfortable.  Most of the time it’s a tank top and jeans.  Converse or my dance sneakers.  My hair is short still, and I usually look like I have bed head.  I rock a leather or a ratty trendy flight.  Makeup?  Maybe eye liner… to draw attention away from my piercings (which I keep in because they look better than the holes they leave behind).

I’m basically just me.  I don’t aim for ungirly (but apparently that’s my normal thing), I don’t aim for girly.  I aim for “Can I dance in this?” or “Do I want to get oil on this?” or my personal favorite “It’s fukking cold, lets put on 50 layers”.

Is this girly?  Is this boyish?

Do I look more like a girl now?

Why does it matter?  I guess what it comes down to is I don’t like being put on the spot about how I’m dressed.  I’m not sure how to respond.  I like the “Hey you look good” not the “Hey you look like this”.  So sue me.


One thought on ““You look more like a girl tonight” O rlly. STFU kthxbai

  1. ~Me

    This one made muh head hurt, lol. You should have said, “And so do you” back at him. I’ve gotten the same comment before… don’t take it to deeply. Boys, well, they’re boys and, well yhea. BE comfy, wear what makes you confident and comfortable, and screw everything else. Lubs ya!!!

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