My foot up your ass, and other entertaining moments.


So every December, people get all deep and thinky like and try to come up with New Year’s Resolutions.  Sometimes they’re easy ones like “I will not eat the entire roll of cookie dough” or “I will try to stop threatening my kid with gypsies”.  Sometimes, they’re more complex.  “I will lose 15 lbs and gain muscle mass” or “I will find an excellent spot to bury my husband’s body.”

Resolutions.  Eh.  I had a few, but quite honestly this month got so screwy I forgot them and hovered over my Cherry Chocolate Blast ice cream.  Which is like an orgasm in your mouth if you haven’t tried it yet… seriously, Eddy’s makes it.  Buy some.  Make sure you have an extra pair of panties.  Just trust me.

Yeah.  So resolutions are great.  They are.  Unless you’re like me and completely FORGET what they were 3 weeks later.  Every year is the same.  I make resolutions.  Forget them.  Then just spend the year trying not to go to jail for homicide.  *Shrugs* So far so good.

However, every few years… actually 3 times in the past 10, I end up with an entirely new perspective on everything.   And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.  From work to men.  From style to scenes.  From difficult positions to friends.  EVERYTHING.  I’d say it’s like an epiphany, but not quite.

Plus.  I head those are supposed to happen at weird times…

like when you’re on the throne and yelling at your 3 year old to give back the toilet paper.

Sometimes it happens over the course of a few days.

Last night it was while listening to Social Distortion’s White Light White Heat White Trash cd.  It was reaffirmed anyway.

I was on my way home from the city and just jamming out (like I have been, to this cd, for 10 years now).  I was mostly just trying not to over analyze shit, and for once while I was drumming to “Gottah know the rules” it occurred to me.  Fuck it.  I didn’t care about the random garbage I’ve been dealing with for the past two weeks.  I didn’t care about the petty problems and the stupid shit that goes on.  I was just drumming.

By the time my all time favorite song “Crown of Thorns” came on.  I was dreaming about the future.  Near and distant.  Once I realized it, I thought about where I saw myself, who I saw myself as.  I realized everything was different.  The only static things were my daughter and my house.  I dreampt about my house, my new career.  Some old friends that I’ve been trying to reconnect with.  I dreampt about school and my family.  I dreampt of a new future.  And nothing and no one was the same.

I drove home smiling.

Sometimes, when I do this whole “new perspective thing” some thing traumatic happens.  Sometimes a betrayal.  Sometimes a loss.  Sometimes boredom.  Whatever.  It happens.  I’m looking at life anew, and I’m happy.  :)


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