Tales from the Crypt. Oh Shtt, it’s the Crypt Keeper!

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Insomnia is one of my friends.  It has been a near-constant-companion for years now.  I’m naturally a night owl, but with the stress of being sick and other crap, sleep?  Yeah.  Not so much.  Usually my screwed up sleep schedule lets me sleep around 3 am – 7am… like a rock.  Beyond that I just nap here and there during the day.  I can function on that.  I can.  I may be a huge bitch in the morning, but that’s enough sleep to get me through the day.

Lately though, sleep isn’t coming so easy.  I laid down early last night, around midnight, mostly because Crohns was kicking my ass.  I felt like crap-ish, and I wanted to catch up on sleep.  Well I guess the sleep gods were against me.  Or I was the ass end of a universe wide joke.   I could NOT fall asleep.  Around 2 am, I started dozing.

Noodle has been a great child, hasn’t woken up at night for a looooong time.  Until last night.  At 2ish I hear.  “Hey.  HEY.  MOOOOOM.  HEY!!”.  I go in there assuming the house is on fire or she is levitating or some shit.  “Mom.  I lost my stuffed dog.  Find it?”  I found it for her.  Lovingly tucked her back into bed while screaming inside my head.  Then around 4:30 she wakes up again.  Crying because she has to go potty.  Apparently for the first time in… how long has my kid been potty trained?… she needs help.  Like NEEDS help.  Like right at that second.  It took all I had not to dunk her in the toilet. She then woke up at 6am.

Now punctuate all of that with nightmares and 2-crohns-hates-your-guts wake ups… yeah.  Then add in that it takes 20 minutes MINIMUM to fall back asleep for me.  YEAH.  So despite the pot of coffee I’ve already downed, I’m not quite awake… and barely coherent.  Grumble.

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