The things you take for granted.


I am writing from my phone because I’m too dizzy to stay sitting up my couch is ohsocomfy.  It’s not even 4pm and I’m so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open.  I’ll never get used to how exhausted I feel, even after almost 4 years of this nonsense.

So I got my errands done a little while ago.  I had to go down to Highland Park Hospital to get some blood tests, after that?  The grocery.  Which wasn’t too detrimental to my wallet seeing as how Flagyl (an antibiotic) made me nauseous enough that NOTHING looked even remotely edible.  Got home, put away groceries and cleaned up the kitchen. 

Noodle conned so lovingly asked for cheetos and was having them for a snack.  She gave me one and hell, who am I to turn down what basically equates the ambrosia of the gods?!? So I ate one cheeto.  One.  With in 5 minutes the stomach pain was so bad that I got dizzy.  I hunched over and the pain spread to my chest and I couldn’t convince myself to breathe.  Then I fell.  Once I got up I ran to the bathroom and uh… let’s just say my intestines confused the two lower exits.  Fistulas are a bitch.  Take my word for it. 

So I was alright.  I can deal with the extreme fatigue, joint pain and hell, even most stomach upsets.  Now? I feel like screaming I’m sooo frustrated.  But hey.  The kid is tired so she’s not complaining much about her mom laying in fetal position.  That and Arthur is on. 

I never thought Id see the day Id pray for Humira.  I never thought Id be okay with risking the side effects.  Hey though, I lasted 3 years.  Please let me get my meds soon.  Living like this blows some seriously hairy balls.



2 thoughts on “The things you take for granted.

  1. I feel your pain. When Crohns knocked me out of work I had two boys ages 2 and 4. For about two months I had to watch them during the day because I was out of work and daycare is spensive. The whole time I was chained to my bed next to the bathroom. It was not pretty. I ended up having surgery.

    A couple of years later it happened again and I said “screw it, give me the drugs[Remicade] I will deal with luekemia or cancer later, but today I need relief and I need to function for my kids.

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