Over Caffinated and Highly Annoying

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Caffeine.  Coffee.  Redbull.  RockStar.  Sparks (that’s when it gets fun).  OHMYGODGIVEMEAFUCKINGIVOFCAFFEINE!

I have been an avid coffee drinker for years.  Actually.  I think like 11.  In April.  Or something.  I remember my 14 year old self ditching class to sit at the local coffee shop INHALING coffee… for hours.  Then I’d go home.  Make coffee.  Drink coffee.  Then go back to the shop and drink more coffee.  Until 3 am.  Or later.

I lived there.  Seriously.  I legitimately had an offer to stay the night.  And not be arrested.

Coffee.

I love it.

I live off of it.  It takes a lot to give me the Jitters, and when I do get them, it’s seemingly out of nowhere.  It’s like “Oh, I guess I’ll have another cup.” then 3 minutes later it’s “ohmygodifeellikeijustdidan8ball.whoputcocaineinmycoffeegrounds.ithinkillhaveonemore.”

I get silly.  I think I’m more amusing when I have caffeine for blood than when I’m tipsy.  And contrary to what I tell everyone, I’m no where near productive on my morning caffeine high.  In fact instead of doing laundry.  Noodle and I are having a contest to see who can fit more cheetos puffcorn in their mouth.  I am full of win.  And almost out of cheetos.

Coffee.

I realize it’s horrible for my stomach.

and insides.

and prolly sanity.

But I’m not giving it up.

I would willing cut my hair into a mullet first.

Dare me.

I literally snorted my coffee when I read this.

 

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2 thoughts on “Over Caffinated and Highly Annoying

  1. Andi

    Yes, this is why i love you!

    I can actually pinpoint the exact moment that i became a coffee addict… and it didn’t take much.
    I was 15 or 16 in Mr. Triviani’s Environmental Science class. Up until that point, i hated the taste of coffee… it just reminded me of my father. One friday every month, Mr. Triv would make shade grown coffee by Starbucks for our class… the most perfect time because it was 7:30 in the morning on 0 period. I didn’t drink it the first couple of times he made it… again, because i didn’t like the taste of coffee. But one morning, i had a whole BOX of chocolate in my possession. So i broke up a few pieces, dropped it in a cup, added some cream, and drank about six cups that morning.
    That began my caffeine revolution that has lasted now almost 10 years. I FUCKING LOVE COFFEE, and if i don’t have like my 19 cups of extra large-extra cream-extra sugar-carmel syrup Dunkin Donuts fix everyday, people around me WILL die.
    And, oh, how i very much miss our nightly coffee talks, my love.

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