Caffeine. Coffee. Redbull. RockStar. Sparks (that’s when it gets fun). OHMYGODGIVEMEAFUCKINGIVOFCAFFEINE!
I have been an avid coffee drinker for years. Actually. I think like 11. In April. Or something. I remember my 14 year old self ditching class to sit at the local coffee shop INHALING coffee… for hours. Then I’d go home. Make coffee. Drink coffee. Then go back to the shop and drink more coffee. Until 3 am. Or later.
I lived there. Seriously. I legitimately had an offer to stay the night. And not be arrested.
I love it.
I live off of it. It takes a lot to give me the Jitters, and when I do get them, it’s seemingly out of nowhere. It’s like “Oh, I guess I’ll have another cup.” then 3 minutes later it’s “ohmygodifeellikeijustdidan8ball.whoputcocaineinmycoffeegrounds.ithinkillhaveonemore.”
I get silly. I think I’m more amusing when I have caffeine for blood than when I’m tipsy. And contrary to what I tell everyone, I’m no where near productive on my morning caffeine high. In fact instead of doing laundry. Noodle and I are having a contest to see who can fit more cheetos puffcorn in their mouth. I am full of win. And almost out of cheetos.
I realize it’s horrible for my stomach.
and prolly sanity.
But I’m not giving it up.
I would willing cut my hair into a mullet first.