It’s been a while since I last saw you, 5th grade to be exact. I miss you and while I don’t think of you every day, after all this time it’s bound to happen, I do still wonder. I do still wish you were here. Sometimes it’d be nice to have a mother daughter day. To have someone to talk to about boy problems, kid problems, and ohmygodImPMSingandneedtovent problems. I feel like I missed out having you to call when I had my daughter, when I was so sick, when I bought my house, when I got married and then divorced. I feel like I missed out, but don’t worry, I’m not in the least bit mad, I know you had no choice in leaving and I accepted that years ago.
Sometimes though I wonder what you’d think of me. Of where I am in life, of my house, my choices, my damned failed vegetable garden. What would you think of Noodle? Would you approve of my parenting choices? Would you have her drawings hung up on your refrigerator like I do? Would you lecture me about my tattoos and piercings and my hot pink eye shadow or would you encourage me to dress how I feel fit? Would you tell me to finish my Business Bachelors degree or encourage me to go for teaching? Would you want me to go back to college now or would you let me take my time and find my path in life?
Would you have coffee with me on Sunday mornings?
I don’t know Mom, all I do know is that I miss you. I may no longer remember the sound of your voice or the smell of your perfume, but I still miss you. Mom. I wish you were here.
Your daughter, Sarah.