You know, 6 days ago I was sitting on my front step getting lectured. At 6:30 in the morning. After being out all night. I made someone look bad the night before. I irritated him. I had danced with someone else, and that some one else got a little touchy. (and was reprimanded for it) He had been mad because supposedly his friends had asked what the hell I was doing. He had gotten jealous. He realized that he had no right to be upset but was nonetheless. He gave me the cold shoulder up until lecturing me while he was shit faced.
I felt bad. I did. Which rarely happens because usually I don’t tolerate that kind of bullshit. In my eyes, if you get jealous, then step it up. Either step in or make a move. Buuuuut, I felt bad. I apologized. I went against the grain, the very fiber of my being. Me. Apologizing for dancing. For NOT breaking any rules. Whatever. I kind of liked him, so maybe I could behave better so as not to hurt him.
So, last night I went back out. Every body and their god damned mother was there. People I hadn’t seen in forever. It was a freaking blast. I’m glad I went, however I wish I hadn’t restrained myself. I didn’t dance with any guys, I turned down two numbers and numerous drinks. I shrugged men’s arms off my shoulders. I dodged a kiss from someone gorgeous enough to make my knees weak. I behaved.
Then my boy nudged me. “Dude, Pot meet Kettle” and pointed over to the side of me. I turned. There he was. Some female dancing on him. His arms around her. Pot meet Kettle indeed. I got his attention, told him to fuck off and promptly listened to the comparison on how what I did was so much worse. Whatever.
I got asked by no less than a handful of people about that.
You know. I have to explain this here. I’m not mad that he was dancing with some girl. I could care less. I’m pissed that there is a double standard. I’m pissed that I got lectured, ACTUALLY FELT BAD, and behaved myself, just to see said double standard. He could do blow off a hooker’s ass and I wouldn’t care, as long as I don’t get bitched at for dancing with a guy.
Now I look a fool. Which I guess I deserve, but Ohhh Emm Gee does that shit piss me off. No one lays a double standard on me and actually makes me feel bad. NO ONE. I’m done playing games, I’m not some stupid 16 year old anymore. Either you step it up or you get the fuck off of it. Simple as that.