I might as well have a cock.

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So today I spent a good portion of my time emailing a man-friend of mine.  Just ridiculous banter mostly, you know the usual: gay anal sex, giraffes, fetuses, republicans and his brother’s schlong.  (The latter being my choice obviously.  What?  A girl has got to have goals and aspirations!)

Then the conversation turned to empowered women and my oh-so-favorite-(stabmenowplease)-topic feminism.  He apparently thinks very highly of empowered/self-established women despite dating nothing but skanks who practically give $5 blowjobs for a living. (Ha.  I can totally make fun of him here, no interwebz for Jay!!) This is great.  Then again, every man I know says this kind of crap but my honest opinion?  You really want it?  Doooo yah?

Men want a woman who is “grown”.  They want a successful female they can show off like a prize.  What they don’t want is a female who is more successful then them.  I rarely meet a guy who continues talking to me (I’m speaking of the apartment/parent’s house/roomie man here) once they find out that *gasp* I own my own house.  They clam up when they figure out that I pay for it with my OWN paycheck.  That I live here on my own.  If that hasn’t scared them off, usually the owning my own car or my almost completed bachelor’s degree does.  Again, I’m only speaking of the men who haven’t bought their own house yet, men who haven’t gone to college etc.  Those that do usually high five me or something equally gay.

My best proof ever:  A couple of months ago I was “seeing” this random guy.  Dated for about 2 months (not committed) and through out this time I left out the details of my house.  When we hung out, we either stayed at his place, the bar or restaurants.  So one day I invited him for coffee.  To kind of breech the subject.  He showed up saying “Oh, so you live with your ‘rents?”  I said “Nope, just me and the Noodle”, and dropped it.  We went inside and as I was setting up the coffee he says “So how much is your rent?  Do you have a roomie?”  I told him my mortgage was under $800 and I had a roomie for a few months but preferred my privacy.  I remember him staring at me for a second then “I’m 29, you’re what 24?  You own a house?”  I just said “Yes, but it’s no big deal”.  He left an hour later.  We never went out again.  I eventually asked him via text what happened and he responded with “I don’t feel comfortable, you made me feel like I should’ve accomplished more by now.” and that was it.

Now don’t get me wrong, it kind of got me down.. but more or less confused me (well more so than my usual confused state).  My generation is the by product of feminism… our parents were born into it and then tried to instill it into us.  So I grew up with women around me telling me all that feminazi crap (they all loved it when I was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen).  So I go out into the world after fucking life up and start succeeding.

Now what do I find now that I’m established?  (And we’re not talking credit here.. thanks Tim)  I find that the more self-sufficient you are, the more stable you are, the more difficulties you have in finding men or hell, even friends.

The fucked up part is, I don’t even care.  As long as you are striving to make something of yourself you could live in your grandmother’s closet for all I care.  Everyone starts somewhere at sometime.  I could care less.  It just ends up being ironic is all.

So the point of all of this is I’m going out this weekend.  I’m going to run a social experiment (and no, I still haven’t done the Hi-Im-a-polygamist-wanna-be-my-5th-husband experiment yet) and meet some guys.  We’ll see how they act at first, if asked I’ll say I share a 2 bedroom apartment with my friend.  Then the following weekend, I’ll tell the truth to whomever I meet.  We shall see what the outcome is.

 

 

 

ps.  Not sure where I got the title from… but its true.  How dangerous could I be with a male appendage??!  :)

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