To my Under-Age Girls…


Okay.  Ladies.  Girls.  Females.  I usually don’t do this kind of thing, but something needs to be said because my generation embarrassed the hell out of me last night.  For the record, it’s fun to go out to the club (or small bar that thinks it’s a club… ahem FREDDIES) and get retarded drunk and dance… dance on top of the stage, bar, hell I even saw girls dancing in the bathrooms.  That shit is fun.  Hell I spent time dancing my (for the record… SOBER) ass off too!

That kind of night is fun.  However, around 1am last night they had some sort of contest.  Now I hate contests even more.. and Freddie’s is infamous for them.  The usual is called “The Hot Body Contest”.  You get the general gist of that.  They have girls compete with dancing and skank-levels and then award them with more booze.   So with that one you watch girls compete over who can dance the pole better (yes.  Im serious.  While fun, if you’re dry humping the ground/pole for booze… please someone finish this thought for me.. lmao) and who is more hott (which usually excludes my tshirt and jeans wearing self) sounds great right?  Yeah more like obnoxious.  But whatev.  Not my thing.  Ya’ll know this.

So last nights contest.  Bikini Hula Hoop Contest.  (It was a Hawaiian theme… which means I realllly shouldn’t have been there…. I’d rather do blow off a dirty toilet seat than dress up for a theme party)  I immediately started rolling my eyes.  But hey.  It could be funny.  So these girls get called up.  Given Bikinis to change into (Pubic Lice anyone?) and go stand on stage.  Hoorah.  Then they have to Hula hoop to music.  So yeah, semi-quazi amusing.

Then the MC starts feeded them shots out of a super soaker.  Yeah.  You read that right.  It was OBNOXIOUS.   Simply annoying.  At that point I left.  I couldn’t do it.  I just called it a night.  More than an hour before bar close.  Usually I laugh at other women’s drunken misfortunes but that was just bad.  It’s not like they flashed anyone (unless I missed it) but seriously?  Congrats ladies, your pictures ended up in Whassup! Magazine… not dancing, not hugging the bartender or any other of the classic shots, but damn near on your knees drinking booze out of a super soaker water gun.

Now for the record, I actually give the bar credit.  Massive Credit.  They came up with yet another gimmick that packed that small area.  They succeeded.  Hell.  I’ll most likely go back there again (I can’t escape the damned place).  That’s the bars job, come up with events that draw people.  It worked.

I guess what my plea is is for the next bar generation.  Mine’s already screwed up (and Im the first to admit I’m part of it if not at the forefront of fucked-up-things-done-at-a-bar) but I’m hoping the underage girls I know stick to dancing on the bar and drinking beer in the parking lot with hot guys… just please girls… don’t drink booze out of the super soaker… that’s just wrong.  lol


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