So I am sitting here, watching Finding Nemo (again) with Noodle and of course my mind started to wander. There is only so many times you can watch a children’s movie before you completely zone out… every time… with in 20 seconds.
I was thinking about “Self”. As in who we all really are, how we portray ourselves and the connection between the two. While watching the self-destruction of an old friend of mine and the lies that person is telling to cover up the truth, I started thinking about what I cover up.
You know, I’d like to say I’m open as a book, but I do have some issues. I guess no one is perfect.
So this is confession time, Enjoy!
– I come off as overly confident in myself, outgoing, even egotistical. Now while all of those are true, I do get self-conscious at times. I do have days where I am self-conscious of my body. My weight fluctuates so much, even more so now that I’m living on steroid that I never seem to have clothing that fits and I never seem to remember what my body really looks like. Trust me, gaining and losing 20lbs every couple of months really does a job on ones skin.
– I seem comfortable in front of people. I always say I’m a people person but in all do reality, while I do great in big groups or in crowds, when it comes to one on one conversations, I struggle. I feel like a socially awkward teenager again. I’ve been working on expressing myself more, but I still feel… odd.
– I make a big deal about waiting to be in a relationship, that you can not really know someone in a couple of weeks, so why commit yourself so early? While I still stand by that point, a little part I leave out is that I’ve turned into a commitment phobe. Even when I find a wonderful guy, which has happened a couple of times now, I convince myself that I’ll just get hurt. I tend to think that they’ll all turn out like Tim did. I mean hey, he seemed like a great guy in the beginning, and well. Yeah. So I guess not only am I Chronically Single, I’m also damaged goods.
What are some things you hide about yourself?