Hazelnut Coffee and Bad Days

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Today was just down right awful, and I just cringed as I typed that since I sound identical to my grandmother.  Geez.

I don’t know what it was about today.  It started off good enough.  Saw R first thing then had a relatively easy drive to work, but after that?  My mood was just nose-diving.  Nothing I did could keep it out of the water.  My phone took a crap on me, the fax machine at work was out for the 2nd day in a row (which resulted in customers and stores yelling at me), it was 85 degrees in my office all day and my one hope of getting out and about tonight vanished.  Not even my boss buying me Blueberry Iced Coffee could break the foul mood for long.

It was just one little thing after another, every single one of them annoying the crap out of me.  Getting my phone fixed is a bonus, but even though it was only $25, it pushed me into down right irritable.

I got home and promptly turned on some tunes and set it on random.  Music usually helps me improve my mood no matter what.  Well a few songs came on that really reminded me of my good friends that are no longer on this planet.  That just sealed the deal.

I broke.  I put Noodle to bed and sat and cried for a while.  It’s just one of those days I guess.  I am really tired of a lot of things, mostly being sick constantly and and missing my friends.  Everything is still on the up and up, but I guess I’m just tired.  Crohns and the side effects of Prednisone and Humira are really getting to me.  Everything else I can deal with, but I really wish I could just feel normal for a little while.  Hell, I could even deal with Crohns better if I had someone to talk to that really understood (internet support groups on twitter and the like aside, I love you guys, thanks for listening, but a real live person would be helpful).

Everyone has bad days though and I’ve been kind of over due.  Lets just hope this coffee can banish it and I can have a good weekend.  :)

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2 thoughts on “Hazelnut Coffee and Bad Days

  1. That really sucks! I know these are obvious questions, but since I don’t know you all that well…I just have to ask – have you talked to your doctor about hooking you up with someone local, like another patient – so that you have someone to talk to face to face? Maybe the hospital social worker has some advice?

    Did you talk to your doctor about clinical trials for other drugs?

    I know NOTHING about Crohns, other than it’s a freakin’ bee-och! My step sister was diagnosed in her late teens (she’s in her mid 40’s now). It is awful and my heart hurts for you, such a terrible disease.

  2. Melissa, I have talked to my doctor about support groups and programs as well as looked into them myself. I found that most of those programs are entirely fixated on being ill instead of continuing to live life. It was far too morbid for me. I stuck them out for a while, but it depressed me all the more. So I stay away from those.
    As for Clinical trials, no we have not discussed them, I’m not comfortable with unknown side effects, and that’s something I have to deal with when on Humira since this drug was barely studied before being released with Crohns.

    Thank you for the suggestions though. I really do appreciate it, it’s just been hard to deal with lately. <3

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