Music will always blow my mind, there is something about finding that song that just does something to you. That voice that touches the inside of your heart. Those notes that just relax your shoulders, loosen your grip on your problems. There’s something about it. Something about a new discovery that makes life just that much more bearable.
My life is controlled by music, whether I like it, which I’m definitely not arguing. If it wasn’t for music, I would’ve lost my mind years ago. Those tracks, those songs have got me through the hardest times in my life, other tracks have pushed every good mood I’ve ever had into exhilaration.
No matter the moment, no matter the memory, I can attach a song to it. If I remember something, remember a part of my past, the first thing that comes to my mind is the songs I’ve attached to it. For each moment in the present, I have a song in my head, like a sound track. I can say “this reminds me of this song.” Then it’s packed away in the box that is my mind.
Believe it or not, writing aside, I have a really hard time expressing myself in words. I could have the worst day of my life, want nothing more than to wrap someone’s arms around myself and pour out my soul… but when it comes down to it I slam to a halt. I sit there. I stammer. I lie and say it’s fine. I change the subject. It’s one of my biggest faults as well as one of the reasons most of my relationships ultimately fail. The only ways I’ve ever been able to express myself to the fullest extent has been through written word and through music.
If you ask me what I’m feeling, chances are I’m much more comfortable playing you a song than I am telling you. I could write it down, but even then, as I’m writing, the song that describes that feeling inside is playing in the back of my head. Music is easy. Music talks, you just have to know how to listen.