I don’t know how to start this one. So bear with me, I promise it might make sense. Maybe. Or I’m talking out of my ass again, which is extraordinarily likely. You know, early mornings and such.
So sitting here this morning I was going through my text messages and responding to all the drunk retards from last night, and he popped in my head. I got used to my good morning texts. Then I realized something, something I haven’t felt in a long time. A wave of something. What is that? I couldn’t quite place it. When I thought of him, I missed him. The fact that he popped in my head for no reason surprised me on it’s own, actually missing someone after only a couple days? To say the least it really caught me off guard. So now the question stands, does he think about me too? I wonder if he’s missed me yet…
New relationships, pseudo or official, crushes or infatuations, really are confusing. I forgot how much, as it’s been a while. Years. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing, the last, even possibly remotely relevant relationship I have to go off of was Nick… but that was just different. I knew it would never develop into anything because of the whole moving away thing. So there was none of this.
When I was a teenager, I had two relationships. I had many dates, but only two people I cared for. I don’t remember much about the beginnings of those relationships, and I most definitely don’t remember this feeling. I remember the downfalls, but not the infatuation that started it all. Maybe I’ve time traveled back to when I was 16. Maybe this is that retarded feeling that you hear about from high school girls.
I just have to say, it’s not a bad feeling, even if I’m not used to it. There’s that fear that I’m setting myself up to be hurt, but for now, I’ll just drink my coffee and enjoy it.