It’s that time of year again. Normally I’d say it’s the season of mourning and the season of change, but this year? This entire year has been full of nothing but change. Change for the better. Change (my health) for the worse.
The entire year. This fall, I’m not really mourning too much, even though it’s approaching the anniversary of the passing of two of my friends. I suppose all three will hit me in January when my ma’s anniversary rolls around. Meh.
This year, this season has me in a mellow mood. I’m remembering a lot of the people I’m missing through my senses. The smell of burning leaves reminds me Adam. The chill mixed with the smell of my leather reminds me of Mike. Fall reminds me of all the bonfires of the past. All the coffees on the pier. All the people I miss desperately at this time of the year. The man who helped pull me out of the gutter takes up most of my spare thoughts around now.
Regardless, I love Autumn. It’s the ultimate season of fires and beers. Cuddling and coffee. It’s the season of pumpkin picking and decorations. Some of my fondest memories are from Autumn, obviously. Something about the smells of the season make it that much easier to attach people to.
So tomorrow is my first appointment to get my Remicade Infusion. I decided this evening, while curled over my stomach, that I’m all for this med. I also decided I’m buying a robotic body as soon as the technology is available. Come on now, who can honestly say that having a robot body isn’t the coolest idea ever… only if it comes equipped with laser eyes. Oh. And no Crohns.
So yeah, I’m still slightly nervous about the side effects of the drugs, but at this rate, I just want to feel normal again. That 3 week stint of “remission” from Humira was like dangling the proverbial carrot (or in my case cheap beer) in front of my face. It gave me a taste of near-normalcy and now I’m extra eager to feel that again.
I don’t feel horrible, don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt much worse. Much much much worse before, but I’d like to enjoy a tiny bitty bit of Autumn healthy before it snows.
“Stay low in Mexico, and they go, Stay in Mexico… it never snows in Mexico!”