Sitting at the kitchen table again, nursing a mocha latte, ignoring the aches covering the majority of my body. Despite having a bad Crohns day, I am so utterly relaxed and happy it’s damned near mind-blowing. I am perfectly content.
Yesterday I got a bit overwhelmed. I started taking the 6mp yesterday and thinking about all the side effects and risks really got my anxiety up there. Combine that with a rowdy 4 year old and I just needed a break. The only downfall? I couldn’t find a sitter for the life of me, so I resigned myself to a evening of anxiety attacks and invited Ry and his boy over for company.
It was well-enough besides me tweaking out every little bit, I baked the hell out of some Apple Crisp and Apple Pancakes and listened to music but my anxiety just wouldn’t drop. Eventually Ry told me to go out, or rather TOLD me. He had offered to watch the kids so I could catch a break, and I refused. So it came down to him threatening to throw me out of the house or willing going out for a bit. So I put in my headphones and walked the few blocks to the bar.
A couple of DJs I know were spinning right down the street from me, lucky me with out a car. The walk alone was calming, I turned on my favorite tunes and just cleared my head. The bar was a little hectic, but I wasn’t there to see people besides a couple of friends. I just grabbed a drink, tuned into the beat, and relaxed. I did get some dancing in, but not near as much as normal. My body just hurts way too much to keep up anymore. Regardless I did get some dancing done, and therefore cleared my head completely. A and his friend gave me a ride home shortly before 1:30.
Ry was still up so we stayed up for a while, beers were had. Then we passed out. We had both kids here, so they were up and in our faces by 9, and we tried our best to keep them occupied but still pretend we weren’t the adults in the house. At some point Ry got up and I fell back asleep for a couple of hours.
Next thing I know, I’m being woken up with breakfast in bed. Fucking-breakfast-in-bed. You know, that’s only happened once in my life, once. Yet Ry, whom I have barely been dating (and hasn’t discovered my undercover-crazy yet lol) was nice enough to bring me breakfast.
I needed that break. I needed to be spoiled and that bit of relaxation. I needed it bad, and luckily for me, the boy realized it and gave it to me regardless of me arguing with him about it. I am incredibly grateful for it all.
After some laying around, Ry headed out to get some dog stuff since wondermutt is a fatass, and pick up some things for dinner and the house. Since he’s been gone, I finally went through all of Noodle’s toys. After filling 5 (I think) black garbage bags, Noodle now has one basket of good toys and I have my living room back.
As for the rest of the evening? Relaxing. Taco Night. More coffee for me. :)