Sunny Side Up Please? Oh STFU.


Everyone has those days where they think life just blows.  Everyone.  I have to admit, I was kind of down this afternoon.  Then I did something, I wrote down what I am grateful for, the things I’ve taken (yet again) for granted.  So why not publish them.  This way I can remind myself in the future.

I am grateful for:

My daughter.  Noodle is the light of my life, even if she is the incarnation of myself and makes me want to stab myself in the face sometimes.  She is the reason I go to work in the morning, she is the reason I get out of bed on bad Crohns days.  She is the reason I look forward to holidays and she is one of the many reasons I smile.

My house.  It is far from perfect and still in the early stages of rehab, but it is MINE.  It is my sanctuary and no one will take it from me.  My house is where I hide when I’m sick, where I hold my daughter when she’s sick, where I read quietly.  My house is where I bake cookies and dance like a lunatic.  It’s mine.

My car.  My whip.  It’s pathetic looking and missing a lot of body parts, but it’s mine.  It runs and gets me to work, it keeps going despite my horrible luck with accidents.  I’m lucky to have my car and be allowed to drive.  I’m lucky to have my transportation.

My job.  I am one of the lucky few to actually enjoy my job, well most days.  Ha ha.  My co-workers are awesome and the job is fun.  It’s something that interests me.  My job pays me enough to get by on, and I only think about setting the office on fire once a week or so.  :)  In an economy (that I have personally felt) where unemployment is rampant, I am lucky to be employed at a place I like, much more be employed at all.

My family.  My Dad, Step-ma, and Sister.  They’ve put up with all of my sickness and troubles.  They’ve stood by me through Crohns, Divorce, DUI and numerous other problems.  They are my family and they are my rock.  I may not see them all the time, but I know I can call them to talk about anything.  I may not be close to my extended family, minus a few cousins, but I loved by my immediate.

My friends.  After the past few months I’ve learned who my true friends are.  I may not get out to see them much, but I know they are there for me, as I am them.  Good friends know no time, but can pick up like no time has passed at all.  I love them all for different reasons, and look forward to seeing them each time I’m able.

The Boyfriend, (yes there is always going to be a “the” there) he’s been amazing to me even though he’s only known me for a handful of months.  I’m lucky to have someone in my life to hold my hand when I’m being a wuss about medical crap, someone to do man jobs that I’m too much of a wuss to do (hello… kitchen sink drain… I think NOT.)  I have a man who can talk with me for hours, cook just as well, and relax with me.  I have a man who can go out and (try) to out-dance me on the weekends.  We’ve both made mistakes thus far, but so far so good.  No one’s dead or in jail, and here’s the the future (and saving bond money).

My health.  As ass-backwards as that may seem, I am grateful.  I am grateful for my failing health simply for the fact that it has taught me humility.  It has taught me that nothing lasts for ever and to live for the day.  It has taught me to love my body for what it can do, instead of hating it for what it can’t.   I am grateful for my remaining health and the hope to improving it, it could always be worse, and I’ve learned that numerous times.  I have to be grateful for what I have and the lessons I’ve learned from it.

So now my question is, can you name a few things you’re grateful for?  Things/People/Thoughts you can bring up on a dark day of yours that will do you some cheering up?  Pipe in people?


2 thoughts on “Sunny Side Up Please? Oh STFU.

  1. Amanda Winski

    Haha, as weird as it is, I agree about the health thing. It truly does teach you to take NOTHING for granted. I always say I would’ve been a spoiled brat if it weren’t for Crohn’s. It’s also taught me compassion, perspective, patience, as well as who is REALLY there for me no matter what. It really just makes you appreciate every little thing. When I had just had my surgery (I got 4 abscesses, I don’t want to turn you off to surgery at all, just bad circumstances for me) I couldn’t sneeze (I would literally be stopped mid-sneeze bc of my stomach muscles), I couldn’t stand up straight for 2 months, I couldn’t sleep in any position but on my back (when I could sleep at all). All the things I’m thankful for that I couldn’t do: walk, run, sneeze, have a reason to put on make up and look nice, where ANY of my clothes (I got down to 70-something pounds-it was scary, I don’t know exact weight bc I refused to look in the mirror or get on a scale), sleep on my sides, sleep on my STOMACH! Not have to deal with an ileostomy, or drain bags. Being able to take a deep breath (I was on too many pain meds), drive, not have to be careful when hugging people, not having to worry about dogs jumping on my stomach, omg, I’m just so thankful for any degree of normality!! lol. But thanks, I needed to remind myself of all of that :D

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