I started a minor fight on facebook today. I had been scrolling through on my lunch break and noticed a few select moms out there posting… repeatedly. Everyone here knows I’m a facebook whore, like I post at least 8 (teen) times a day. However, these moms were posting about their kids, constantly. They were posting the most mundane crap, and doing the “we thing”.
What is the “we thing” you may have just asked? Well there is a syndrome among some new mommies, new as in 2 years and under. Basically what happens is that said mom decides that they will speak for both themselves and their child. You’ll see status updates like “We are so excited for [insert xyz here]” or “Dinner time, peaches and peas, we are so huuunnngry!”.
Okay okay, once in a while it’s cute. It is. Because we all enjoy those cutesy pictures and status updates that let us know your kid can eat. You know, eating, the thing all kids do. However, these moms are using the “we-thing” for every status update, and by every status update, I mean every.freaking.stab.me.in.the.face.update. You know what that means? Do you? That every status update, every single one out of 40 they post a day, they are talking about their kids.
Which brings me to my current annoyance. You can be a mom and still have a life outside of it. I get it, you love your kids, hell, I post the random pictures of Noodle that only I think are amazing … but feel the need to subject facebook to. Come on though, don’t you have anything else to talk about? Anything? You know I’ve heard about your kid having a bowel movement at his 1st birthday 18 times today, move on.
Sometimes it’s hard to maintain (or even find) your identity as a new mom, it is, I felt like I lost myself in motherhood the first year (that and the whole dying from Crohns thing). Trust me though, your child is not going to be ultimately damaged because you *gasp* talked about something else. He or she isn’t going to hate you for life because you got a sitter and had some me-time. For christ’s sake! I’d be happy to know you took a shower by yourself and what color bath rug you have, just to know you have one independent thought that doesn’t regard your crotch fruit.
So I posted a (slightly asshole-ish) status:
“Okay. Just to clear this up. I’m a mom. A single mom at that. So I get loving your child and being proud of them. I do. But I just wanted to let a select few of you mommies out there know…. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN YOUR KIDS!!
Oh, also related: stop posting status updates like “we had so much fun today” or “we are definitely hungry aren’t we”. Your two year old can’t facebook, you are not Siamese twins. STOP.”
So that brings me to my favorite comment-ee:
“Wow Sarah I disagree, when I became a mommy, my son became my life!!!! Being with him is way more fun then going out & putting myself before my child. Anyways, who are you to tell people what to post & what not to? Nobody. I will gladly delete you from my friends.” — to which I told her to go ahead and delete me.
“You don’t tell me what it is okay to do & what is not okay for me to do. Maybe if you would stop trying to be everyone else’s mother on Facebook & just focus on your daughter, you too would have updates about your child & be less jealous of us real parents out here. I guess there are real parents & then there is you.”
Oh I went off. Kinda. More or less I laughed, typed out a response then continued talking to Moomie in the same thread about her and the rest of the girls stalking me.
That did irritate me though. So because I’m on facebook/work/have a life (there for am not with Noodle constantly because I don’t know… adult obligations) I would have more updates about Noodle. Oh and jealousy? Nope. Lol, her kid is 2. I am no where near jealous… nor am I jealous of the SAHM thing which I also did. But wait… did she say I’m not a “real” parent?
So let me get this straight. Even though it took me WEEKS to find a daycare suitable, even though I get up and go to work just to provide for my daughter, even though I kiss boo-boos and braid hair, even though I sacrificed perfectly good cookies so she could cover my kitchen in sprinkles, even though I am the one and ONLY parent there for my daughter whenever she needs me, I am not a real parent.
I guess I don’t know what a real parent is then. Maybe it’s shutting out my friends to watch my child sleep. Maybe it’s staying home 24/7. Maybe it’s living off the (ex) husband and parents. Maybe it’s the we-thing.
I guess I’ll never know.. and you know what all you real-parents out there? I’m completely cool with that.