Ahh… the life of a single parent. While my ex-husband (daughter’s father) is off scamming yet another woman in Colorado, I’m doing it all… and making what little sanity I have left stretch. Hell what little money I have left… streeeetttch.
Single Parenting. This is definitely not what I signed up for. However, after he laid a hand on me, I filed for divorce. He hated me for loving my life and myself. That point made, he acted like a good dad. I never would have thought he’d bail for (yet another) a free ride. He broke my daughter’s heart, a pain she’s going to have to live with for life.
One person pointed out that at least we don’t have to deal with his bullshit time after time. Yes, I am glad he’s gone, and after almost a year, I hope he stays gone. I will chase his ass (or rather have my lawyer do it) back into whatever meth-house he’s falling into once he resurfaces. If he does. I will not let him hurt my daughter repeatedly.
However, single parenting is hard. I do it all on my own. I pay for everything ( I do not receive child support or his daycare share), I am there for every minute of her life. If I want time to myself, I have to wait until she’s asleep or pay for a sitter (which I rarely do anymore to save money… stupid credit score is too low). I love her to death, but I get stretched pretty thin. I make things work, because that’s what moms do. It’s just stressful sometimes.
Today was one of those days. I dropped Noodle off at pre-school, glanced at the “The kids are sick with strep throat notice, crossed my fingers and headed into work. I spent the majority of my time driving trying to figure out how to tweak my budget for my 3 days I am requesting off through April. 1 day for my Remicade Infusion, 1 day for court (tracking down my ex, and 1 day for my GI appointment. Half days for all but 1. So 2 days off. As I pulled into my work’s parking lot I resigned myself to the fact that it’s only 2 full days off, and my budget won’t shift too much. Work was going well. I was pretty my on my schedule (self-set for my different projects) when my cell rang. Pre-school. Noodle has a fever and is complaining of a sore throat and has a fever. I have to go pick her up. I have to lose half a day of work. So on my way to get her sick little butt, I’m stressing about losing half a day more of pay but I figure it can’t be strep so I can work around it.
I pick her up from school and take her the next town over to be checked out. Swab, Temp, and BAM! Strep. They gave me anti-biotics to start her on tonight, but even though, she’ll still be contagious through tomorrow… and pre-school won’t let her back. Driving to the pharmacy I realize how much time I’m going to be losing and as the saying goes “Time equals Money”.
Ugh. I’ll make the bills work, I always do, it’s just frustrating. I don’t have that support network that single moms are rumored to have. You know, the near-by parents who can scoop her up and watch her for me, the babysitter that some how has no life and can keep her snuggled up in bed while I work. It’s just me. I don’t have child support to help me buy her clothes, school stuff and pay for doctor’s bills. I don’t have the (court ordered) day care help. It’s just me. So when Noodle gets sick, it’s just me. While I’d much rather cuddle her at home when her fever hits, there’s a thought in the back of my head about how I’ll twist the finances this time. Just like when I have to lose half a day for my Remicade Infusions.
This single-parenting gig blows. But you play the hand you’re dealt and you make it work. So, as always I’ll make the best out of everything, I’ll play my cards just right but christ, what a wonderful thought it is that life might some day be normal.