Child Support, Court and Single Mom Rants.

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So today was the day.  I filed a motion to get child support registered through the state, and at 9am I went in for the court appearance.  Lets just say, I knew I shouldn’t waste my time, and I left in tears.

Being a single mother is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Dealing with Crohns, Domestic Abuse, Unemployment, and pretty much everything else that has come my way in the last few years… well… it was a breeze compared to this.  I am solely in charge of another human being.  I am raising a daughter on my own, giving her my all, working my ass off for her.  I love this little girl with all of my heart, and I do everything I can to make her life perfect.  It’s hard enough trying to decide punishments on my own.  It’s heart-breaking to know she spends more time with her teachers than myself.  It’s fucking hard as hell to be the only one here to comfort her, for all of life’s difficulties, including her own father walking out on her.  I do my best by her, every single thing I do somehow relates back to her.  She is my world.  Raising a child is also expensive.

The way I had figured it, is when my ex-husband was still around, still part of her life, still here, I didn’t mind that he never paid child support.  He was being a daddy, and that was good enough for me.  The moment he stepped out of her life, the moment she first cried because she missed her Daddy I got bitter.  You know, I could stand for being the sole financial support for my little family, but I can’t stand doing it all on my own.  My daughter needed her Dad, and he walked out.  So if he can’t muster up enough balls to be a Dad, he damn well should pay his (court-ordered) child support, and his (court-ordered) daycare expenses.  If that fucker thinks that he can just walk out of her life, out of his other child’s life, then he damn well better pay what he owes.  Being a single mom is hard, but it stretches my finances thin.  Thank the lord I got child care assistance (for now… I’m right on the cusp) because daycare is $190/week.  I don’t even want to tell you what Kindergarten is, I have to register for that this week.  The least he could do is provide his share of her education, her healthcare, her clothing.  Nope, it’s just me here.  I’ll make it, just as I have been for 2 years now.  It’s just frustrating.

So he left us.  You know.  He ran off to a new girlfriend, for another fresh start, for another family with out any kids he has to take care of.  He’s living in Boulder Colorado.  We emailed his new girlfriend, trying to get in contact with him, she blocked us.  I do speak to his mother, whom loves my daughter with all of her heart, but besides admitting he’s a douche, knows nothing about him.  He stopped calling her once she voiced her opinion on the matter.  So finally.  Almost a year after he left, I filed for child support.

My court date was disappointing to say the least.  The judge told me that because I don’t know his place of employment (yeah right, like that fucker would work on the books) and his current address (hello, he blocked me and disconnected his phone) they can’t do anything.  Nothing.  At all.  So I asked her.  “So if I don’t know the information he’s hiding from me, I’m screwed.”  The judge tells me that I need to talk to the State’s Attorney and Child Support Enforcement.  I almost fell over.  I’ve filled out the application (for both offices) 3 times.. I’ve called numerous times.  The most I’ve gotten is a promise of a call back… once… from one office.  I’ve been trying for MONTHS.  She dismissed my motion, and I left in tears.  Short of Ryan calming me down, and a lunch date with Kenzie, the bad mood would’ve continued.

I left and went to the Child Support Enforcement Office in person, filled out another application, they promised they get in touch (again) and I left.

I never expected to see any money.  I just wanted it on the books that he doesn’t take care of not one, but two children.  But because he took off and left Noodle in the dust, he gets away with it.  He gets to abandon his child again, break her heart, and leave it up to one parent to take care of her.  The courts wont help.  I don’t expect to hear a call from the office.  I am ready to give up.

I hope, I fucking hope, when he’s laying in bed at night, snuggled in to a house his new girlfriend pays for, he thinks of the two children he’s left behind.  Noodle’s emotional wounds will eventually heal, and I say good riddance, but I hope he feels pain for the rest of his life.

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3 thoughts on “Child Support, Court and Single Mom Rants.

  1. That they can’t do anything about it just because YOU don’t know where he is is absolute bullshit. If that were the case, I wouldn’t get Child Support notifications in my mailbox every two weeks. Because I’m “the new girlfriend” in this situation – my husband has two other children, neither of which I’ve so much as even heard their voice in the 6+ years we’ve been together. Nor has he had a job in that time, so you KNOW he ain’t payin’. I seriously doubt someone who has no intention of becoming employed, and hasn’t been for God-knows-how-long (he was unemployed when we MET…), wouldn’t go out of his way to register with the Child Support agency and inform them of his residence…
    They can find him. If they can find my husband in Ohio who doesn’t have a job and doesn’t file taxes and didn’t until two months ago have a driver’s license… They can find your ex. Assholes.

  2. free penny press

    I’ll spare you the ugly details, but my ex left to take up residence with another woman, they have a baby now and she has 3 of her own. He left 3 here.. He has paid not one cent. I was pissed to the nth degree the 1st 6months. That was 4 yrs ago. No money or more importantly time with them. They are older & wiser and we all took the high road and moved on.
    I hate to say it, but he (yours) is immature and really does not care..
    Perhaps one day you will get some $$, if not keep your head up high.
    (I’m not too thrilled with the person above me saying her husband has not paid any $ and does not work. I would put my foot up my husband’s ass. Or he would hit the damn door.. I don’t live with boys, but men.

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