I am sick. Like regular sick, not Crohns-sick thank god. Wait. When I’m Crohns-sick at least I know how to function. When I have a good-ole-fashioned cold I turn into a whiny, crying, wuuuuuuss. Oh my god. I’m annoying myself. Please excuse me while I kick myself in the face.
So Monday, on the way home from work I noticed that my throat was sore. By the time I went to bed that night I had a headache, runny nose and body ache to add to it. I was miserable the next morning too. I made it half way through a cup of coffee before I realized that I wasn’t okay enough to go to work. So at 5:30am I text my boss and let him know I needed a sick day. I spent the day in bed or on the couch, going in between chills and sweats but sleeping as much as I could. I went to bed determined that I’d feel better.
This morning I woke up and despite a fever, I convinced myself I could go into work. I knew the girls in my small office were probably swamped the day before, and would cry if I didn’t come in today. – I work in a office of 4 people, including myself, 6 if you include our GM and Logistics Manager. The brunt of the Customer Service falls on 3 of us, so when one of us is sick, the others feel the brunt of the work… and it’s painful. – So I took a double dose of DayQuil and put on my big girl panties and head in. I start work at 7am, and by 9am, my energy reserve died and my motivation to make it through the work day failed. I ended up in tears in the bathroom. I told my co-workers and my GM that I needed to go home. I ended up leaving at noon and coming home to crash.
Leaving was hard, I hate calling off and feel horrible when I have to leave early. I hate having the other girls take on my work, even though sometimes they only have time to do my install paperwork and phone calls. I feel guilty when I call off, even if I’m the only one who does. It’s even harder knowing that I’m going to take a hit in the paycheck. Sure I have sick-days, but I also have a daughter in school who will get sick eventually and don’t forget the days I need off for my Remicade Infusions. So ouch, there goes more money.
However, in the past year, and at the example of my co-workers and urging of my family I have learned that I need to take days for myself. Last year, I took days off for my daughter only, and even then she went to school sick when she shouldn’t. I feel horrible for that, and I regret sending her to school when she was sick even though her fever was low enough to pass. I was on my own and needed the money, but the days I took off were for her, or the couple days I had appointments or infusions. I pushed myself and my daughter way further than our bodies were meant to go. The result? Noodle went to school sick and spent days sick instead of her typical day and a half. Me? I was sick for WEEKS. A cold that in my immune suppressed body should have lasted 5 or so days, lasted 3 weeks. So in my quest to save money and make it to work, I actually ended up taking MORE time off, and when I was at work my work suffered. Not only did my work suffer, but my family suffered.
So this cold-season, I’m changing things a bit. I’m taking the day in bed if I’m sick enough to need it, and I’m letting Noodle stay in bed if she needs it. As Ryan says, if you get it early, you can beat it quick. We need to take better care of our bodies, so we can do better with the rest of our lives. So here’s to feeling better tomorrow and a good sleep tonight.
I am going to scream if I’m still sick tomorrow.