I got off of work this afternoon with some grand scheme of cleaning the house and working on my projects. I picked up the Noodle from school and made a quick stop at the store and headed home. Ryan is working a temporary second job tonight, so I have the house to myself (with Nood of course).
I fixed Noodle dinner and cleaned the kitchen, then while Noodle read before bed I put away the laundry I neglected from the weekend. I started the coffee and poured a cup. The first sip had me thinking of sitting and working on my scarf or writing. I picked up the living room and put the kiddo to bed and my motivation just disappeared. I refilled my coffee cup and am now relaxing on the couch, watching NCIS and relaxing. Motivation just vanished, but I suppose that’s okay, there’s not much left to do and everyone deserves a break.
I am hardwired to be neurotic, I don’t mean to be, but it just comes along with the “high-strung” gene I’m sure I have. I spend a lot of time making lists of the things I have to do. On my way to work I think about anything I’m behind on, the things I need to do before I leave, and the things that I’d like to do if I have time. On the way home I make a list of things I have to take care of in the house, home work I need to work on with Noodle, dinner, and anything I can fit in before bed. I keep my days full and busy, and try to stay on top of everything.
The downfall of that is that I end up stressing myself out. I try and be “supermom” and the house-keeping-nazi. Things that should be enjoyable, turn into just another chore on a list and by the end of the day I am a big ball of nerves and stressed to the max. The time I should be taking to myself, I end up trying to cram another errand in, or you know, “I can clean the bathroom real quick”.
So sometimes, once in awhile, I catch myself doing that. Then, on nights like tonight? I take a break. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not horrible to take a night to myself. So that’s exactly what I’m doing. If you don’t take a break, you end up driving yourself nuts, and not enjoying the little things. It’s not worth it.