Hi, my name is Sarah. I am one of the most high-strung, anxiety-filled, nut-ball people you know. Ha. That’s putting it in a nice way, or so says the boyfriend. Most of the time, my anxiety kicks me in the ass and gets me moving to accomplish shit I’ve been putting off. Sometimes though, it’s completely unneeded.
Today is Saturday. Ry works Saturday mornings, so this is a chill morning for Noodle and I. I tend to get a little cleaning done, but the both of us just relax after a long week of work and school and other misc. errands.
So I made my coffee, like I would any other weekend, but as I was filling the coffee filter I felt that all too familiar twinge. My sink has dishes in it, and the trash is nearly full. NO! It’s Saturday, I will not rush around doing stupid chores first thing in the morning! Absolutely-FUCKING-not!
I grabbed some cereal for the short one and headed into my room to enjoy my coffee. Jeez, my room is cluttered. It’s a mess! What in the hell happened!? I could just pick up this… NO! I will NOT! I can sit down and enjoy my coffee.
Coffee drinking commences. Well, since I’m at the computer, I can update my finances. You know, the receipts and such from the past couple days. So I start writing them out, and tossing them in a pile. I get up to throw them away and oh! I can toss this too! Lets take my little trash to the kitchen trash and OH! I need to take that out!
No! NO! NOOO! Good lord have mercy.
So at this point, I’m back in my chair. For the ump-teenth time. My anxiety has made my blood pressure rise. Even though I’ve tried to control it, I already have a list of stuff that I need to get done. I’m going to sit here and write and enjoy my coffee even if it’s making me twitch. That’s it. Simple.
Clutter. For some reason, clutter and chores give my anxiety a run for it’s money. I’m not sure why, but it’s always been like that. If my room is clean and organized, I can relax. If I have a basket of clothes to put away it sets me on edge. If there is shit on the floor I’m already getting weird.
I don’t know, I guess it works in my favor, but SHIT, I wanted to have coffee in peace. Off to clean.