When exactly did I sign up to be an adult? Does anyone know? I’m pretty sure I was coloring in my coloring book one minute and the next I’m paying my mortgage. Whew! That was a fun ride, I blinked and 15 fucking years flew by. Today, the stark realization that I’m a grown-up has hit me… at the tender age of 26. I don’t know why it’s struck so hard, but it has, and it’s mind-boggling.
Sure, I have a 5 year old and have been making said mortgage payments for 4 years, but for some reason, I just now realized it. I guess Adult-hood is funny like that, it just sneaks up on you, right as you’re trying to color in Hello Kitty’s stupid hair-bow with your new crayons. I’ve never quite felt like an adult, even when I was in college, or when I had Noodle, or when I closed on my house. Never quite felt like it, it was almost like I was acting a part. That this wasn’t my real life, and I was just playing along.
I’m on my lunch break right now, I’ve locked myself inside my office with the intention of snooping the internet for an hour. Oddly enough, sitting at my desk, setting my paperwork aside, that’s when it hit me. I’m a grown up. I have my own office at work, my own desk strewn with paperwork and a photo of my daughter in a neat little frame she made. I will leave here today, pick up my daughter from school and go home and make dinner. We will eat dinner, I will help her with her homework, clean up and lay down to read.
It’s not like this routine is anything new. I’ve been doing it for months upon months upon months, but maybe now it’s that I actually enjoy it. Maybe it’s because now every day isn’t filled with a sense of monotony or longing for a chance to go out. Maybe now it’s because I’d rather be at home than out and about (most days). Maybe it’s because I finally got my head on straight and stopped taking for granted the wonderful things and people I already have in my life. I think that coming to terms with the fact that my life does have some routine in it, let me start scheduling things outside of that routine (vacations, renovations, soccer (for Nood) and such). Quite possibly it has something to do with the fact that I achieved my goals I had set years ago and I finally realized it. I finally took pride in what I had accomplished and with that pride, I set new goals for the next handful of years. Life is finally smoothing out enough that I (we) can move on and forward.
Being an adult is a funny thing. It’s a funny thing I tell yah.
But being an adult doesn’t mean that I’m not going to go sit on Facebook for my last 30 minutes of lunch while I sip my iced coffee. :)