Don’t be a Douche


So earlier this week I drove over to a Starbucks on my lunch break.  I was craving over priced coffee “created” by snobby kids who think the lip piercing on the side and their hipster glasses will help them publish their my-life-is-a-struggle books.  Whatevs.  To each their own, I wanted a hazelnut macchiato, and goddamnit, if I had to put up with side swept purple bangs on a dude to get it, I’m down with that.  Just pass the mother-fucking-coffee please.

Moving on.  So I pull up through the drive through (I’m lazy remember?) and place my order.  “May I please have a grande hazelnut macchiato?” The girl in the speakerbox said “May I?”  I just stared at that stupid box.  “I’m sorry hun, I never hear manners like that anymore, I haven’t heard a please in days!”.  I joked about my parents beating it into me, and pulled up to get my coffee.  Paid, grabbed said coffee, glared at girl with HUGE bleach blonde hair and black eyeliner and thanked the nice girl who had given me my receipt and wasn’t scared to acknowledge another human being.  “No seriously, thank you for being polite, I think our generation is the last one with manners, and even we don’t get it right all the time.”  (Followed by a glance at blondie.) I thanked her, laughed, and headed back into the office.

It was a simple conversation, something that I surprisingly encounter a lot, and it was over quick.  Since then though, it’s been floating in and out of my head.  Manners are going by the wayside aren’t they?  I mean, I work in customer service, (and have worked in food service, retail, sales, etc etc etc.) and even when I give a customer exactly what they want, a huge chunk of them don’t even mumble a thank you.  I hold doors open for people, only to have that same person not even glance at me, and then drop the door on me on the way out.  Hell, I apologize if I bump into someone, and say excuse me if I yawn, burp, whatev.  WHY IS THAT NOT NORMAL ANYMORE?!  What happened to manners?  Did our parent’s generation not teach my generation enough?  I KNOW the majority of my generation isn’t teaching our children to not be an asshole, so what the fuck?  Where did the ball get dropped?

I remember going grocery shopping with my mom when I was a kid.  She’d bring my sister and I with if my Dad was still at work.  Without fail, every single time, right after we scammed the cookies out of the bakery lady, my sister and I would start bickering.  As soon as one of us raised our voices… Whaaapp!  Right upside the back of my head.  Followed by “No yelling, it’s rude, you don’t yell in a store.”  — Fast forward about 18 years, I was in a grocery store with a friend, he was heading down the isle to grab something we needed for dinner, and I yelled “Grab some eggs too!” and promptly ducked my head from the incoming smack and then apologized to the people near me for yelling.

What happened to that?  Seriously, why did I get a dirty look from some 20 something year old mom with a baby for telling my kid to settle down and not to be loud in K-mart yesterday?  What the fuck people?  When did being an asshole become accepted… why aren’t YOU teaching your kids not to be assholes?  To say please and thank you?  To not run around a public place basically broadcasting “I’m a big giant asshole here to give you a headache and teach you that rude can come in a 3ft size package.”

It pisses me off to no end.  If I run and hold a door for you and your 8 children, a simple thank you is required.  Just like when your small one bowled over my child and I tripped on his little snot coated self, I apologized.  If someone gives you something, does something for you, or is generally nice, SAY THANK YOU.  If you want something say PLEASE.

Oh, and while we’re on topic.  “Can I get a [Insert Object Here]?” is not the proper way to ask for something.  Try “May I have [      ] please?  Seriously, the CanIgetA—– makes you sound uneducated and rude… just rephrasing makes all the difference.

Ugh. So yeah.  Since everyone is being rude, maybe I’ll just be that rude asshole who walks around CORRECTING your manners.  That sounds like it could be fun.

And to think I need to go to Walmart today.  Ha.




2 thoughts on “Don’t be a Douche

  1. lexikatscan

    Sadly, I couldn’t agree with you more.
    The political correctness of it all forgot the point of treating each other with basic kindness.

    and my folks did “instill” manners too. :)

  2. Completely agree that manners are so over looked! It seems to be that polite people are automatically perceived as having a weak nature. Manners are passé now, everybody seems to want to appear hard and uncaring. I lament! Thanks for sharing this post, Bex

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