Fuck you, I’m not going to be sad this Christmas. I’m not. I’m not going to be depressed, I’m not going to battle the holiday blues. Hello Christmas, it’s your friendly neighborhood atheist, and I’m full of Christmas cheer. Most of the time, I get kind of depressed during the holiday season. Not this year! This is a big Fuck Off to Holiday Blues.
Usually around Christmas I miss people. I miss my mother, my last happy memories of her were around Christmas. She died in January, so usually I get real wrapped up in the last Christmas we had together. I miss my friends I’ve lost, all suicides and all in the fall/holiday season. Even as I would try to enjoy what I have now, I would get sucked into the past and sucked down into depression.
Not this year. It’s not happening. I’ve spent a lot of years mourning, and while there were happy moments over the years, I spent too much of my time in a funk. This year is different. While I’m still remembering those whom I have lost, I’m refusing to dwell on it. There’s too much to celebrate this year, there is too much to enjoy and I refuse to dwell on people who are no longer here, and focus on the loved ones I do have.
I am excited for this year, I’m excited to give everyone their gifts, I’m jumping out of my skin. I can’t wait until Christmas morning so Nood can open her gifts! I think I’m more excited than she is! Hell, I’m just excited to hang out with my kid all week. I took this week off of work (by accident really, I needed to use up my vacation time… I’d rather take time off in the summer so we can do outdoors stuff), so I have 7 more days to spend with my monkey. Then, of course we have New Years coming up. I don’t have many resolutions (just to quit smoking), I’m just looking forward to starting the year off on the right foot.
So depression, this is my farewell. I have plenty of winter to deal with you, just not right now. Fuck you Holiday Blues, and Happy Holidays to everyone!