Positively Negative

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What’s the saying?  If you think positive thoughts, positive things will happen or some shit like that?  Let me just start out by saying… that’s crap.  At least when it comes to anything that could possibly involve other human beings.

I am stressed out.  What’s new?  Things at home are actually really good, it’s mostly my work that’s starting to get to me.  With the exception of one night (and tonight) that I ended up having chest pains, I have been working 60 hours a week for a bit now.  When you look at my salary broken up among those hours, it’s… well painful to say the least.  Add that to the time I’ve lost enjoying the summer with my daughter to paperwork and phone calls?  Covering someone else in the office?  Helping out?  Yeah…. no.  The boyfriend and I had to have the come to Jesus talk, discuss what’s right for our family as well as my own well being… and I need to figure out some changes.

It’s just super frustrating.  I start out each work day in a positive (albeit sleepy) mood, but without fail, some person has to fuck up my day.  I swear, I’m not meant to work with the general public.  I’m not sure how I survived all those years in sales without being convicted of homicide.  I highly dislike being in a position where someone else can fuck up my shit.  I know, “but Sarah, you don’t have to let them” … that’s horse crap and you know it.  This is why being self employed always appealed to me, but how do you start your own business when some other company takes up your time? 

That, and well… what business could I start that has nothing to do with other humans?

Right.

At this point I feel like I should apologize for doing nothing but bitching in this post.  Whatever.  I’m burnt out and stressed out, and ready to walk.  Blogging is my outlet, so tough shit.

Just some how got to keep trucking, with out throwing myself away.  Just have to find my balance between work and home and more importantly how to say no (in all aspects of life) and speak up if I feel I should. 

Time for some tea and to listen to these thunderstorms.  Got a long week ahead of me, including seeing my pops and Remicade, which is perfect timing since I’m running to the bathroom more times than I’d like and my joints are on FIRE.

Here’s to Monday being a bitchface, and here’s to the next day.

Cheers.

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