Saturday night, day one of a much needed three day weekend. Monday, I am off work… initially it was out of necessity. It’s Columbus Day (aka: lets-celebrate-genocide-day), so the kid doesn’t have school… and on the major school holidays, daycare is closed. So I requested the day off, because being myself, I don’t have many other options for childcare.
Either way, as the days counted down to this weekend, work got more and more stressful. Each day that inched by, the more depressed I got. The more anxious, the more upset. It’s just been… hellish, especially after working late nights for god knows how long. Friday, I lost it. I finally found out what burnt out feels like, I thought I had experienced it before, but quite honestly I hadn’t. Every little thing was setting me off into tears, I felt like I was on the borderline of an anxiety attack all day. (Hello, new prescription.) It was one of those days where I had to go outside, and solidly convince myself that deep down I *do* like my job, and that while my paycheck is no longer 100% needed, I like having that income.
It was bound to happen. I knew it was coming, and quite frankly, I’m surprised it came with tears instead of screaming and storming out. Friday straight up blew. However though, when I’m stressed I tend to say what I mean, instead of sugar coating it, so I got some of my thoughts off my chest. Despite the tears, at the end of the day, I actually felt better. On the drive home, I thought about what I wanted out of life, out of work and out of my home. I put some priorities in order, and let me just tell you this: my family comes first. Hearing my boyfriends views on it, and knowing I have his support regardless of what I do with work helps.
Cue: Weight off my shoulders.
So, this weekend, I’m taking for my family. This Monday is a Noodle+Me day. I’m enjoying every minute of it. I know that I have some work I really should get to, especially with corporate coming in next week. This weekend though? I’m not doing it. I’m not checking emails, faxes, lates or anything. I need this, and I need time.
Today wasn’t quite fun filled with the morning dentist appointment, but watching scary movies with the short one this afternoon was nice. Right now, I’m relaxing with a Strawberry Ale (mighty tasty I might add) and writing.. while fending off complaints from the child that she lost her charger for her tablet. Tomorrow? I don’t know what’s going on, but I know I’m spending my morning in bed until I feel ready to get up… and the day? Relaxing. Monday? I think a bike ride with the kid, and lunch out.
Moral of the last week (year)… family and self comes first.