Turn it off.

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Tell me why I care? Tell me why I feel bad? Tell me why, that after everything that has happened, why I still feel the need to take care of him?

So when the big-asshole-of-a-breakup happened, the first thing I did was look at my finances. My phone bill was huge, so I had asked my ex (wow, that feels odd to type out) when he would be getting his phone line off my account. He said he needed a little bit. Fast forward two weeks, I asked again, he said he needed one more paycheck, which was the next week. Fast forward two more weeks, my billing period was ending the next week. I needed to switch my plan so I wouldn’t have to pay that super high bill, so I asked him to get his line off of my account. Then I went into my store and set up a new plan, and for it to auto cancel when the billing period ended.

Today, one more week later, his phone shut off. He texted me from his son’s phone to ask me. I confirmed. Then immediately apologized and explained myself.

I wish I could just turn it off. I don’t want to feel all of this. I don’t know why I care, I did what was right to take care of myself, I can’t afford to pay for his phone. I don’t know why I feel the need to take care of him, why I feel the need to apologize and explain. He’s the one who cheated, he’s the one who walked away and screwed me with the bills, and left me with a damn near empty house.

I just need to turn my emotions off.

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One thought on “Turn it off.

Reply, do it, you know you want to!

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