Growing Up and Getting Older

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My little minion is turning 9 years old tomorrow. She’s been counting down to her birthday for weeks now, and now it’s almost here. I just can’t believe it, this year just flew by! I mean the school year was a blur, and it seems like it was just last summer. She can’t possibly be another year older can she??

She’s been through a lot in her little life, and has come out of it all a wise little girl. She is beyond her years in common sense, and understands things that most people don’t even touch on until their early adult years. That wasn’t in the plan, but I’m amazed at how she handles every day life and problems. I can’t wait to see the woman she grows into, but I’m aware that it’ll all fly by in the blink of an eye. This past school year she excelled at everything, consistently scoring higher than the average as well as her school mates. I am so incredibly proud of her, it’s borderline ridiculous. All I know is I’m about to have one hell of a smart 9 year old, instead of a smart 8 year old.

It’s cliche but time really does fly. I remember people telling me to enjoy every moment because the baby/toddler years will be over in an instant. It’s definitely true. It seems like just yesterday I moved into my house, and Noodle’s best skill was hauling diaper around the backyard. She went from this little thing, carrying around her scrunchies (her word for puff-a-lumps) everywhere to this leggy, spunky kid listening to punk rock and metal and demanding her own band t-shirts.  Where in the world does the time go?

She’s turning out to be such a great kid, kind, caring, smart, beautiful, with one hell of a sense of humor. When I look at her, even when she’s mouthing off (which she obviously got from me), I’m just in awe of the great little girl I’ve raised. I couldn’t be happier.

 

So for her birthday, we’re having family come over for dinner, cake and presents. The plan is a bike, roller skates, and some smaller stuff. We’ll see what I come up with. She’s been needing a new bike, the hello kitty one I got her 2 years ago is just awkward for her to ride.. so that’s the biggest present. She’s so excited, I just want to make it the best I can. Now to find the perfect ice cream cake! She’s also requested my German Pancakes for breakfast, so she’s got a game plan. I hope it goes well. Happy Birthday Noodle!

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Chronic Illness Can Go Kick Rocks

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Today was a rough day, as they all have been for a couple of weeks now. My Crohns Disease seems to have left the Remission parking space it had occupied for almost a year.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a few “mini-flares” but nothing longer than just a couple of days. This weekend though, it progressively got worse and today I called one of my doctors. I was lucky to get in to get some IV fluids, potassium and steroids, and I’m hoping that will kick me back into remission. We shall see I guess.

It’s like my body just wanted to remind me that my Crohns is still around, I’ve been dealing primarily with my heart crap, I almost forgot about IBD. So there I was, getting back to normal life, and my intestines nope-ed right the hell out of normalcy.

Ah well, everything else in my life is going pretty nicely. If anything, I’ll just use this as an opportunity to appreciate what and who I do have in my little world. Nothing like a shot of reality to help out with that.

Here’s to another 30 years pushing forward! Happy Birthday to me! Last day of 29 will be spent reflecting. :)

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Come on Spring!

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Every little taste of warm weather gets me even more excited for Spring. I have so many things I’m looking forward to that it’s beyond ridiculous at this point. After everything that’s gone on in this past few months, it feels like I have a fresh start.. at pretty much everything. So I guess that’s what Spring is to me this year, a figurative new leaf, a fresh start, everything.

So this year I’m going to be doing the garden all on my own, and quite frankly I’m thrilled. In the next week or two I’m going to go buy myself an asparagus plant, hopefully I two year one if I can find it. I’ve been meaning to plant asparagus for years, but I’m too impatient to wait for it, or I talk myself out of it at the last second. When I put that plant in the ground, I’ll probably go ahead and put in my first round of radishes and lettuce. I’m not sure what else will go in the garden this year, definitely green beans and tomatoes, maybe some peppers and carrots, but beyond that I’m still debating. When my ex was still maintaining the garden, we kept planting things we really didn’t eat a whole lot (eggplant, broccoli) and I really don’t want to waste the space this year. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out soon I hope. Haha.

Moving on. So the ex came and picked up his dog the other day. A small part of me misses that stinky old hound, but the stress in my house has decreased significantly. Dealing with two dogs, one of which was a stubborn nose-driven-beagle was just too much for me with everything else that’s going on. One more dog is much more manageable for me. It has it’s perks too. I let Thumbs stay out of the crate at night now, and she’s much happier and I’m sleeping much better now too. I had always crated her with Zoe because I’d feel bad putting one dog in the crate and leaving the other out. Zoe though couldn’t be out at night or anytime we weren’t in the room since she’d have accidents in the house and rummage through the garbage can every chance she’d get. Beyond that, it’s much more convenient now to go take a walk with Thumbs. With both dogs, they’d both go every which way, and pairing that with my motor mouth child, walks were far from relaxing. Now, my dog just does her business, and Noodle and I talk while walking. We’ve made it a goal to walk at least 4 times a week. So far I’m loving it. The mild exercise paired with the lower stress in the house is really helping me keep my head in a good place.

My birthday is coming up as well. This year is the big 30, which to me feels like 40 but who’s counting. I’m not as effected by the number as I thought I would be. I mean, I’ve already hit most of the milestones my age group is going through right now, years ago. So I guess it’s not a big ole thing. Not sure about a mid-life crisis yet either, I’m pretty sure I’m mentally 80 years old as soon as I get off of work. I’m content with a book, my journal and some coffee or tea. The rowdy night out is a rarity, and has been for a while. That’s fine with me. I always thought I’d be upset about turning 30 though, and honestly, I keep forgetting about it. We’ll see. I know Noodle is more excited than I am, but beyond that I’m not sure if I’m even doing anything for my birthday. Who knows!

Work is going well, same shit, different day, and I’m still there so that’s a bonus. I’m working on writing more, but haven’t been able to really drill anything solid out. I’m still on the hunt for a group of some sort to join, but I’m not really finding anything I like yet. I did find one group the next town over that’s something along the lines of books and brews at a local pub that sounds fun, but I haven’t had a chance to check them out.

My health stuff is basically stable, my Crohns pops up here and there, and my heart hasn’t given me the finger lately. Feeling quite a bit better with my anxiety and such as well, but all of that is a work in progress I guess. Just glad to finally be feeling more normal and.. gasp.. dare I say.. happy? I guess not being told how much of a horrible person I am damn near every day helps. Whodathunk?

The kiddo is doing great! She just brought home another report card earlier this week. She’s still getting straight A’s! I’m really proud of her, and that’s honestly an understatement. She’s doing so well in school, and has really stepped it up with helping out around the house. She’s about excited for spring as I am. I think I’m going to get her a new set of roller skates as a gift for her report card, and to give her something to do outside. The kid not only beats me out in smarts, but she’s still hella more agile than I ever was. I swear, she keeps me on my toes.

That’s about it I guess. Planning a big vacation with the family later this spring, but beyond that, it’s been pretty laid back and relaxing. It’s been interesting finding peace again, and honestly, I can’t help but to say that I’m content with the turn my life has taken this past year. I’ve learned a lot, faced a lot (especially the heart issues) and came out better for it. I guess.. cheers to spring! Let’s see where life takes me now!

Smiling.

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Birthdays usually don’t go as planned for me. Not to say that they’re horrible, but more like I seem to have child-like expectations and the day seems to miss it’s mark.

I have to say that this year I was more than pleasantly surprised. We really had no concrete plans, but I enjoyed almost every moment of it. Now, at the end of the weekend, sitting here with my cup of tea, I am happy.

Ry, the kids, and I went up to the lake house to see my Dad. I love it up there, from the quiet (my aversion to people) to nature, to spending time with my family… I almost hate coming back. We spent some time outside, the kids got to go on a walk on the shore to collect shells, and ate some delicious food. Between spending time with my family and getting some quiet moments, it was perfect. Ry and the kids picked out a matching bracelet and ring set made from spoons and we did an Easter egg hunt for the kids.

After all of that, we made the trek home. While we were up north though, Zach and Ryan built me a tea case. From cutting, sanding to assembling.. it was all them.

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I absolutely adore it! I love handmade gifts, and the fact that both of them worked together on it makes me tear up. I love it.

So here I am, end of the day, kid in bed and tea in hand. It was a good birthday thanks to my family.

Not so little anymore.

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She LOVES painting birdhouses. Wonderful gift!

Today I have a 7 year old.  My little baby isn’t quite so little anymore.  Seems like just yesterday she was hauling diaper across my backyard after she figured out how to run, now she’s in her last week of 1st grade.  Not to mention the 5 inches she grew over winter.

She did have school today, but was thrilled she got to wear a birthday crown and the class sung to her.  It’s the last week of school, so they have nothing but fun stuff to do.  She was excited to go, where as I was kind of sad we didn’t get to spend the entire day together.  Story of being a parent I guess.

After school and work we had a birthday party for her.  My parents and step sister and brother came over for dinner.  Despite the rainy beginning to the afternoon, the weather was warm and sunny, nice enough that we were able to grill and eat outside.  My parents brought this adorable cake (pink inside in the shape of a 7) that Ashley really got a kick out of.  She got plenty of gifts from all of us, a lot of outside toys and sports equipment which is just what she wanted.  Grandpa and Grandma got her into painting birdhouses last year and surprised her with two new ones, paint and a paintbrush set.  I think she was most excited about those.  That or the pair of roller skates I got her that she refused to take off.  She was definitely a happy girl, which made my long day at work worth it. 

I think the cutest thing though was her garden.  Ry put up a little white picket fence around a corner of our yard and let her plant a ton of sunflowers.  We even made her a sign and hung her gardening tools on it.  Then they stayed up late around a fire talking, her request over the weekend.  Listening to them just melts my heart.  She loves him so much it’s adorable.  I’m glad she has such a great father figure in her life.

Speaking of fathers, or DNA donors.  Her biological father sent some cheap gift again.  The fool hasn’t talked to her in more than a year, hasn’t seen her in more than three years, and hasn’t paid child support but just once in 5 years and still has the gall to send a crappy $10 gift.  Not even a card this time, at least last year she got a card with some sob story about his phone being shut off (read: he was getting married and having another kid).  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I had been giving her the gifts her sends but last year I found it in the trash shortly after.  She hasn’t even asked about him since her last birthday, and only mentioned him once when she asked if it was okay if Ry was her step daddy since she didn’t have a real one.  (Which yes, I explained that she did in fact have one, but that it was up to her who she considered her Daddy or step daddy, and just reiterated that family is about love, not just blood.)

I’ll have to think on it.  She’s a happy, well adjusted kid, and I hate to disrupt that.  Eh.  We all know I’ll fork it over, and keep my lips sealed about all the nasty things I want to say against her father.  The wonderful thing about children?  They remember who was there for them, who wiped their tears, kissed the owwies and who reads the bedtime stories.  She’ll come to her own conclusions (or rather reiterate them again and again as she gets older) and until then and beyond we’ll continue to be there to support her and love her to pieces.

I just hope Tim realizes that he’s doing her more harm than anything and just stops interrupting her life with cheap gifts.  She’s happy and deserves to stay that way.

Anyway, she had a lovely party, and I enjoyed seeing my family.  Noodle is all tucked in bed and it’s back to school tomorrow.  Here’s to another wonderful year with a wonderful little girl.

I love you Noodle!  Happy birthday my not so little one!

Birthdays and Frustration

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Just turned another year older, seems like this last year just flew by.  My birthday weekend was actually really nice, I was able to visit with some friends I haven’t seen in a while and hang out with the boyfriend and my sister.  Got some really awesome gifts, not just from family either but from my coworkers too.

However it must have been the carefree weekend that makes everything today seem so irritating.  It seems like literally every little thing frustrated me, from work to my dentist to my banks.  You name it.  It’s just made me realize that I have to do something to change my life, something to take down the stress a little. 

Regardless, here goes another year of my life.

This adult stuff is bullshit.

It’s been a loooong road.

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I’ve been absent lately from the internet world.  The real world has been moving almost too fast for me to keep up, so I’ve been lacking in the posts as well as on Facebook and Twitter.  I’ve been even worse off at reading other people’s blogs, for which I sincerely apologize.  Life has been good though, just busy, as in super insane busy.  Honestly though, I like it when life is busy, it keeps me pushing forward and striving to meet new goals.  As always, the one thing that doesn’t change, I manage life’s problems and achieve my goals quicker if I have too much on my plate at once.  I don’t think that’ll ever change, some call it ADHD, some call it over-achieving… I call it Fuck-You-Life-I-Win.

So my little Buddha Butt had her birthday come and go, and let me tell you did this little girl get spoiled.  It looked (looks) like Hello Kitty puked in my house.  From lunchboxes to barrettes to stickers to outfits.  Helllllo Kitty.  Good Lord.  She got a new Easel from Beckie and her daughter Izzy, which she can now use with all her new art supplies (thanks Beck!).  And of course she got a new swim suit for our trip to the lake house… and got a kick out of wearing her life preserver.

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The lake house was a welcome vacation, granted we only went for 3 days this time, and we’ll be going back a lot this summer, it was just needed.  3 days with my family made it all worth while.  I was getting a little overwhelmed with work, bills, and just general adult crap, so I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed spending time with my Dad even more.  I’m glad he finally has a piece of paradise, after all these years, he deserves it.  Seeing him happy, even if his happiness was chasing us on a jetski and laughing when I was thrown off, makes me happy.

Things with the house are really coming together.  We’ve got everything unpacked and organized to our liking.  Both kid’s rooms are set up and our room is almost done too.  Ryan has been working like crazy (when he’s not at actual work) on the yard and it’s looking really nice.  I’ve always been an outside-person, I’d much rather sit in my yard than inside the house.  Now?  I can look at a well-manicured lawn complete with all of my flowers (both old that he resurrected and new plants) and relax.  The house is feeling more like a home every day, especially since I’ve been filling it with people I love.

Life is good, busy but good.  My one goal though?  Work on my writing more, I’ve been writing like crazy in my physical journal, but I want to get on this blog better.  Especially at the current politics rolling around [Insert Evil Cackle Here].  Plus, now that evenings are calming down, I want to read more.  So I’ll be around you guys.  I’m back. :)