Cheater Cheater – Bullshit Eater

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You know I love social media. I have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and someone finally weaseled me into a Snapchat (which I’m still trying to figure out how to work.) and I love it. I can keep track of my far-away-move-here-now friends, as well as family I don’t see as often. I use it to store some of my pictures, and share the ones I really love with my friends.

However, these past few weeks have gotten on my nerves. Facebook has that “People You May Know” feature, that with the last update it is now in the middle of scrolling. It’s constantly pulling up two of my exes from a decade ago, as well as my most recent ex’s family. More of an annoyance than anything. Then, my most recent ex, you know the one who used me to get himself where he needed to be, then cheated on me and stole a lot of my shit, Ryan? Yeah that one… decided to follow me on twitter. Creepy. I texted him and he insisted that I was in the recommended people he follow.. so I looked, he follows like 20 people. Basically, he follows me, his mom and sister, and a bunch of news crap and sex accounts. Whatever. Not my deal, if he wants to look at the dumb shit I post, then sure!

Well then, back on Facebook a few days later, a girl named Sarah popped up in the “People You May Know” feature, but I couldn’t see any mutual friends. Her name looked reeeeeallly familiar. Then it clicked, Ryan had used MY Facebook to look her up a few times. When questioned about it, it was supposedly because his buddy was dating her… so it was needed to repeatedly look at her profile. Well, you know hindsight is a bitch, and we’ve all found out how much I got cheated on, so I figured, what the hell. Clicked her page and there he is. Looks like they’re together now.  I’m guessing she was one of the girls he cheated on me with.

Honestly? I’m not even mad. She looks sweet from her pictures, and took him off my hands, so have fun. It gets my mind thinking though over the past few days. Why do women help men cheat on other women (what happened to women sticking together?), and don’t they expect to be cheated on? I mean, it seems logical to me, if you help someone cheat on their significant other, do you really expect them to be faithful to you? Honest question. I’ve never been on that side, so I really don’t know.

That and I noticed that she has kids. I don’t know if she’s letting him around them or not, but has he told her he’s a sex offender? That she will most likely be investigated by DCFS for Neglect? If someone had told me that all in the beginning, I would’ve run for hills. Hell, for all I know, they’re living together and he’s still registering at his family’s house. I actually feel sorry for the girl, if I knew what I was getting into when I first met him I would’ve ran. Hell, it never even sank in towards the end that he’d never be able to do anything with the kids like graduations or parks… it’s the little things for me.

I thought I would’ve been upset or something similar when I figured out who he had cheated on me with, but nope. It’s just sorrow for this new girl Sarah (subnote: that would be 3 ex’s now who date girls named Sarah after me). I  hope he’s been honest with her, and doesn’t damn near ruin her life like he almost did mine. Lying is a tricky game, and one he’s going to eventually fuck up.

Either way, I need to find away to avoid that “People You May Know” section. Exes, bros from high school, and apparently side chicks are popping up way too quick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Decency and favors. Love and Life Lessons. (Plus a realization)

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(I’ve refrained from writing about this on my public blog for two weeks now. Mostly keeping my comments to my private Facebook. However, I’ve neglected writing for some time now, and writing is how I heal. Sometimes journaling is not enough. So here we go. I’m taking back the things I care about, and my blog is one of them)

So I was informed today that I am not a decent person. Apparently because I got myself couches and moved my exes couch outside and asked him to pick it up.

I was informed that he was doing me a favor by letting me “keep the couch so you had a place to sit”.

Right. Because not putting it on the curb, along with the motorcycle and all the other shit in the shed isn’t decent. Because watching the dog that’s not mine until he finds a place to live isn’t decent. Because I didn’t do him a favor by standing by him for 4 years even though it put my family at risk. I didn’t do any favors supporting him financially and emotionally, through the toughest time in his life. Because it’s obviously my fault that he walked out, and can’t fathom that I’m not going to rearrange my plans so it’s convenient for him.

He did ME a favor by cheating, moving out and leaving us with next to nothing, just in time for Christmas? Taking all of not only his stuff, but stuff we bought together and things of mine? Just to put them in storage? He’s the decent person because he let me borrow a couch?

Right.

You know what? He did do me a favor. He taught me what love is, and what it isn’t. He taught me that I should never be dependant on someone else. He taught me that real men don’t cheat on someone they promised to love forever. He taught me that real men don’t break a child’s heart, then take even the toothpaste out of the cabinet on their way out. He taught me that I can do this all on my own, that I deserve better than all of that.

He DID indeed help me out, but it wasn’t letting me borrow his couch. It was teaching me that there are people will help us if we need it. People who love us and stepped in to give us a happy holiday. It was teaching me what commitment and devotion is. It was teaching me that someone who loves me won’t sleep around behind my back, putting my health at risk. It was teaching me what I want, how much more I deserve, and that there are good people in the world, in my world.. He taught me that he didn’t deserve to be part of it.

I hope on his quest for happiness, he finds what he’s looking for. I do. I just hope he stops hurting everyone who loves him along the way.