No Respect

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Disrespect

One of the things I try to really get into my daughter’s brain is to respect people, at least enough to be civil. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like them, don’t agree with them, or whatever, unless they are disrespectful to you.. BE CIVIL.

So far she seems to get it. I’m pretty sure that’s a thing that most parents try to teach, but it’s pretty apparent with my generation, and the half generation before me, it didn’t stick.

For the past year, I’ve been dealing with someone who is for lack of better words.. a bitch. Which I get, I mean, I’m not the most friendly person ever. However, that is something I’ve been working on for a handful of years.

I’ve been forcing myself to be nice, respectful and trying my best to have patience. I still get the odd ball complaint, usually about something I’ve written via email, message, facebook post or whatever, but not nearly as much as I used to.

So this chick, has been disrespectful from day one. She’ll ask me a question and then get huffy at the answer. She’ll snap at me if I ask for something, and just generally cop an attitude with me for existing. It honestly reminds me of the high school cliques. One day it’s fine, next day, it’s nasty looks and whispering behind my back. Just straight up disrespectful. (I still can’t get over the irony of ME trying to be nicer.)

The sad part is, even though I’ve said something about it, several times now, nothing changes. My brain just went into acceptance mode, you know.. I just got used to it.

Until it really got on my nerves the other day, and I snapped back. Oh lord, did she rain hellfire down on me, you woulda figured I hit her car with a baseball bat with the way she reacted. It really just proved what I had already known, she’s used to pushing people around and bending the rules to make it work for her.

No. Fucking. Thank. You.

If it was just some bitch working at my gas station or something, that would be one thing, but someone I have to talk to every single day? Not so much. If she doesn’t want to change her behavior, and no one else wants to correct her, then I’m at least going to stand up for myself.

No one should have to deal with disrespect on a daily basis, much less one single occurrence. It’s enough. Time to force some changes.

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Almost flattered.

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Well actually I do.  Apparently, living my life and being happy is enough for someone to hate me for 9 months now.  9 months, that’s a long time I’ve had to endure online attacks, at least the texts have stopped.  It’s amazing though, I’m almost flattered.  I haven’t been doing anything to provoke anyone, the only thing I’ve been doing is keeping to myself and writing.  I’ve been working hard, enjoying the little things, and loving my family.  Unfortunately for me, that’s enough for a hater to hate.  Yet again, the same person is actively slandering me on the internet.  Yet again, the same person has stated (is this the 2nd or 3rd time) that my own daughter would be better off if I was dead.  The difference this time?  Instead of just saying “dead”, she said murdered.  

I don’t get it.  I know she had her feelings hurt when Ryan refused to see her anymore, but come on!  She cheated on him!  I don’t understand how us being happy is a personal attack to her.  She has said it’s not that, then what is it?  Read through my twitter (it’s linked at the right upper corner of my page).  Read through my blog.  When was the last time I even mentioned this?  Maybe when I had to file a police report?  I don’t know what I’m doing to egg on these attacks, and not only attacks against myself, but attacks against my daughter.  My 4 year old daughter.  What adult person attacks a child?  That’s what I don’t understand.  No matter how much I dislike someone, I never bring their children into it.

At first, I was going to defend myself against the things she has stated online, but you know what?  I’m not.  I know they are not true, the people close to me know they are not true.  That is good enough for me.  I live a good life, I stay out of trouble, and I take care of my daughter.  I have good people in my life and I’m happy with where things are.  I’m tired of the attacks, I’m tired of the taunting.  I’m done.  I don’t care if this person calls me a whore, slut, or whatever they may, but that’s on them if they want to believe it.  I just want to be left alone, and I want my child left out of it.  I will protect my family, it’s the most important thing to me.  I am done with this nonsense.

Let’s trade places…

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Lets trade places shall we princess?  I wish we could.  I’d like to show you a thing or to about being a single (or in your case, part time) parent.  Hell, I’d like to show you a thing or to about being a woman, a good person, and a human being.  Lets take a trip into my world, the world you don’t seem to realize exists, and the world you deny to hell and back.  I’d like to show you the way things are… in your little world and in mine.  Shall we?

St. Patrick’s Day.  I stayed in with my boyfriend… we had been out in the forest preserve all day and on the motorcycle (since my daughter was at a sleepover with her best friend).  We stayed in, saved money, went to bed relatively early since the next day was supposed to be nice and we wanted to take the kids to the forest preserve.  It was nice and relaxing.  I’m sure we would’ve had fun if we went out, but we wanted to avoid spending money, the crowds and police as well as the hangover the next day.

St. Patrick’s Day for you.  You went to a wedding that you had helped plan.  At 10pm you sent your child home with your parents and stayed to get shit faced.  Guess spending the remaining weekend day with your child wasn’t important… especially after you “worked so hard” at the wedding, I’m sure he didn’t get much time with you.  So your kid spent the night and grandma and grandpa’s again.  I’d totally thumbs up that one… if he wasn’t there on half of your days anyway.  Who care’s though right?  You worked HARD to help out at the wedding and deserved to spend more time there getting wasted.  *Shrugs* We’ll see.

Sunday Morning.  We woke up and started coffee around 8am.  That way we all had a bit to relax and wake up.  Peaceful morning until you called.  When we were asked what we were doing today you started railing in my boyfriend about how we need to include your son.  You continued to go on and on about how you DESERVED a day off to rest and relax since you were so hungover.  Your kid was still at his grandparents.  If you had taken a moment to breathe (and most likely sober up a bit) you would’ve realized that we had already talked to your son, and the plan was to go get him.  That’s okay though, because when his Dad had told you we’d take him to the Forest Preserve, you flipped out.  “Well if you don’t take him the WHOLE day, you can’t see him at all!” and on and on with the break stuff.  Well then.  I see you’re back at it.  This is the second time in 3 months that you have threatened to withhold your son from his father because you didn’t get your way.  Whatever.  You wonder why people don’t respect you, and why I never will.   That’s okay.  While you spent the entire day sleeping we went and took the dogs, kids, and ourselves to spend the beautiful day at the forest preserve.  It was really nice, your son even found a deer antler!  After the forest preserve we came back to my house and played on the trampoline and had some dinner.  We called you to see if we could bring your son back, seeing as how it is was your day to see him, after we went to the park, 45 minutes before you had asked we keep him until and you immediately started insulting your son’s father, claiming he never does anything to help you out, even though he had your son 2 out of your 4 days this week.  Oh well, we went to the park as planned and showed up half an hour early.  I’m sorry you were angry that we wouldn’t keep him over night, so you could “have a night to yourself”… again.  But making your child get up 2 hours earlier than normal because we have to work, that would be 6am…. that’s not happening… especially since you failed to mention his cold.  He needs his sleep.  Plus we needed to shower and get to bed.. because like I said… we work.  You know.  Day jobs.  Sorry.  Besides, he needed a shower too, we all stunk! Now I don’t mind driving half an hour away and back to pick your son up, I don’t, I definitely don’t mind him being part of my dysfunctional family, but the least you could do is not insult your ex, and act generally ungrateful towards myself.  I guess I’d be a little salty if I slept all day while my kid spent a day outside having fun with my ex’s girlfriend.  But whatever.

Now honey, we really do have to talk.  We’re going to have a little conversation one of these days.  I’m tired of your complaining, I’m tired of you using your son against your ex, and I’m tired of well… you.  You seem so ungrateful, but your ex drops everything at the call to see his kid when you’re “too busy”.  You seem to forget that you do NONE of the driving when it comes to picking him up and dropping him off.  *I* do.  Think about how many days he spends at his grandmother’s house.  How many *hours* you actually spend with him.  You really should get off your high horse there sweetheart, when your son spends more time with relatives and his dad (and myself) than you.

While we’re at it?  Stop complaining about working hard.  You work at a bar.  You refuse to get a normal job.  Don’t give me that crap about not being able to find something, check craigslist, monster, hell, take a walk.  There’s plenty of day jobs in our town.  We’re lucky, our town(s) are rebounding faster than everyone elses.  You choose to work until 10pm and then close out the bar with your friends.  You choose to.  I know.  I chose to too.  But then guess what?  I realized how much my daughter missed me and how much it was impacting our relationship and I got a day job.  I’m a single parent like you claim to be.  I bust my ass to make sure my daughter has everything, including her OWN roof over her head.  Not a room in a friends house.  You can do better, I’ve heard how you used to be.  I know the bar scene is fun, but eventually you have to do right by your son.  I get it, trust me I do, but family comes first.  Don’t make the same mistakes I made.

Now speaking of that.  That little thing you pulled yesterday with your hangover?  You REALLY needed to stay and drink?  Well guess what.  Responsible parents have two choices.  1.  Go home early with their children.  or 2.  Stay out, have fun, then get up early with their children the next day.  It sucks.  But it’s called parenting.  You can’t always pawn off your kid on someone else.  When your kiddo knows “Mommy’s been drinking”, trust me, he’ll remember.  Once in a while is okay, but really?  You make my teenage years look kind of lame.

I don’t feel pity for you at all.  I don’t.  Once you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll understand.  I hope you get it soon, your son isn’t so little anymore and he’s a very VERY smart boy.  Smart boys figure out their parents pretty fucking quick, and you’re on a long walk off of a short pier.  Sure.  Keep working “hard”, keep drinking hard, keep trying to manipulate everyone else into doing your parenting for you, but I’m warning you, it’ll come back and kick your ass.  Not too many people are falling for the woe is me bullshit anymore.  You’re not a victim anymore, unless you count yourself a victim of your own laziness.  Your kid is going to wise up soon, and your ex already has.  I hope for your sake you wake up and step up before it’s too late…. because trust me… you want to be a good parent to that boy.  That boy deserves it.  Just like mine does.

… and I’m childish?

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Thanks! :)

Do the world a favor and stop talking… we’re losing IQ points just listening to you.

The past two days have been one hell of a wild ride, a blur of drama.  It’s been a while since I have gotten *that* angry.  You know, angry enough to start destroying people’s lives… holding back only because the blow out might effect a child.  One more person has now permanently lost my respect, as well as moved up on my shit list.  The last bit of this dramatic affair happened 4 hours ago and I’m still seeing red.  I don’t know how many times I have to prove that I don’t fuck around, especially if it effects me or my family, or someone I care about.  I take care of business, and yet another person is learning this.  You know as well as I, any good story begins with….

… SO THIS BITCH… yes.  Let me clarify.  BITCH.  B.I.T.C.H.  Bitch.  So this biiiiitch, started a fight with me yesterday.  I offended her with two bluntcards I had uploaded to facebook.  I actually found out because she lacked the ovaries to talk to ME first, but instead talked to a friend of mine.  She told my friend that I was childish and threatened him if I didn’t take them down.  My friend told me and I took them down.  She then proceeded to message me and we battled it out in facebook private message.  I’d post it here like I usually do, but I brought up points that should not be shared with the wide web, it’s good enough that she has those thoughts dwelling in her head now.  Eventually the fight moved to the phone, same ole shit as the message… until she threatened my friend… again because “she doesn’t think I’m a good person”.  Okay.  Are you following me?  I’m not a good person because I don’t particularly like the broad and I posted two bluntcards on facebook… that obviously she felt related to her. (What’s that saying?  If you manage to think it relates to you, it does? Guilty conscious much?)  So the fight continued… I stood my ground and stated that if this shit continues she can speak to my lawyer.  Simple as that.  I don’t play these games.

Anyway.  So that was the end of that… or not.  Apparently not.  Of course not.  Because even though I’m the childish one… she had to one up me since obviously I hit a sore spot.  So I’m at work today, minding my own business.  A call comes in.  My co-worker beat me to the punch line.  Private Number.  Female who asks for me.  She puts them on hold and I answer the call after I finish the one I’m on.  When I pick up it’s a male.  Said male goes on to talk a lot of shit about my friend and myself, warns me to protect my family and then hangs up.  The shit talking?  The threat? The “I just wanted you to know” bullshit?  The same exact ones as the broad from yesterday.  It’s a pretty unique threat/insult.  Pretty fucking unique.  So unique that the first time either of us had heard about it was last night.

Interesting.  I’m not one to believe in coincidences.  Not a single fucking bit.  Especially not word for word, less than 14 hours after I originally heard it.  Plus.  More importantly.  They called me at work.  On my work line.  You know, the one that’s not on my facebook.  The one that not even my boyfriend, family or daycare have.  Pretty fucking interesting.  As far as I’m concerned… it’s a pretty big coinci-fucking-dence that a completely different person…. who doesn’t personally know me (as they stated)… repeats the SAME EXACT SHIT…  less than a day later.  Just a thought, it takes some effort (more than the average hater will give) to look up someone’s place of employment, look up the number, and get the balls to call me at work.

So whatever.  Bet.  Chick crossed the line.  Crossed the line.  So, like I did not too long ago, I took steps to protect myself, my life, my family as well as my work.  I called the police and filed (yet another) harassment report.  I told her I was not fucking around anymore.  I told the caller that too.  Simple as that.  So that is officially said and done… and now if it happens again?  Arrests will be made.  Done deal.  How many times do I have to tell all ya’ll.  Don’t fuck with me.

 

New year, new life

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Its another new year. Yup. It happened again, the earth is another year older. She’s one incredibly old woman. See the earth is so old that it got me thinking. Us humans are only on this planet for a blink of an eye. We are only here for what equals a short albeit rank ass bathroom run. With such a short amount of time to be alive why not live to be happy? Live the life of a good person?

Making strides to better your life is a great thing, its hard work, hard work that I’ve embarked on for 10 years or more now. Sure I’ve fucked up plenty… some with dire consequences, but I’ve learned along the way. Some say I’ve learned more than most walking twats my age (I apparently need to use the word “twat” more since I just had to teach my phone that word) or hell, older than me. I think that is a good thing, my past is far from angelic but its made me who I am.

The past few years have been turbulent. Honestly I think they were worse than my teenaged years where finding a place to stay and food to eat were the top 2 on my to-do list.  I had to learn what real love was, what a real man was by going through an abusive, horrid marriage. I had to learn what financial ruin was after leaving said husband to become an unemployed single mom. I learned how to treasure a job because of that. I’ve learned about health and protecting it after I lost mine to Crohns disease.  And (third time is the charm) after losing three friends in a very hellish way over 3 years, I’ve learned to surround myself with positive people and not to tolerate toxicity.

After fucking up again with the DUI last year, I finally got my priorities in order. It took a month of suspension ( therefore staying at home more, which lead to thinking) for me to figure it out.  Since then I’ve been working my hardest to get the life I want and nothing is going to get in my way.

So far things are going swell. I’m thrilled at the path my life is on. I’m happy despite a touch of depression (which for my regular readers…. seems to have subsided once I out myself back in a healthier diet and gotten more sunshine) .

Then a friend of mine texted me the other morning. She told me to check out a web page where a girl was bashing not only me but my parenting, my relationship, my house and my past. Yeah, the same issue with the same girl as before.  I brushed it off at first because frankly I had resigned her to my past but my friend kept insisting I look.  So I did. As I was thumbing through 3 hours of this girl bashing me I realized something. When she did this before it hurt my feelings. I double checked my life because of what a girl who is angry at me said. It sucked. This time? Not so much. I realized that the things she was saying were things meant to hurt me (as well as my boyfriend). Things that were not true. This time I realized I’m where I want to be in life, I have what I want and things only are getting better. I realized that I can’t let the angry rants of someone else hurt me. So I didn’t.

What I also realized is that I wanted the attacks to stop. I’m not one to let someone bully me into thinking down on myself… that and I’m 25. I’m too old for this nonsense. So instead of blasting her online or calling her on the phone, I realized regardless it’ll never stop. I had to be an adult and continue to weed the negativity out of my life… even if its just online bullying. 

So I filed a police report and guess what? The attacks have stopped. Once and for all hopefully. Hopefully she can move on with her life because I am. Do I regret calling the police? No. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

No one should have to tolerate bullying, no one. And honestly life is too short to waste time fighting. Especially what… 5 months? 6 months total?

Now as for today, I’m going to finish my chores, punctuated by coffee in bed. Then Ill go and help the boyfriend move into his new house, watch him take the first step on a new path, a new life as well.

Happy weekend everyone!!

Respect. Or lack there of. Or throat punching.

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Dealing with the general public, as well as working in a close-knit office reiterates the one cardinal rule I have.  Treat me with respect or do not expect it in return.  Better yet?  You better be good at high-blocking because I’m most likely pondering throat-punching you.

I am a people person.  I do best in large crowds or in big groups of friends, I can feign interest in almost everything and I can treat the person I’d like to feed to hungry lions like my best friend.  Call it a talent.  I am respectful.  I treat everyone with respect unless they disrespect me.  Or hell, if you’re just rude.

It’s a pretty simple idea in life folks.  If you want something, be nice to the person you’re asking.  If someone is helping you out, help them out in return or wait… you could always… say thank you.  Some of the basic lack of manners in this world honest to god shock the hell out of me.

Most of this is just coming from working with the public, again, even though the last time I swore I wouldn’t.  Some of this is coming from past experience.  A bit of it is coming from my peers, not really friends, but people in the same circles.  It’s called being a grown-up folks, you’d think people in their twenties and thirties could manage this but apparently not.

Respect.  I respect your decision to go back to school, or not.  I respect your decision to get your own place, or live with family.  I respect your relationships or lack there of.  I listen, give my opinion and then wish you the best.  It’s a damned shame that people can’t give that in return.

I am a single mom, I am saving money currently, especially with the Christmas season coming around.  So making fun of me for deciding to stay in, not spend money on new clothes, or dinners out, isn’t getting you anywhere but on my shit list.

My decision to put off school for a while longer was and is a deeply thought out choice.  I have a lot going on, and adding school to the list isn’t going to help anything.  So reminding me of my almost complete bachelors as well as the fact that I’m not getting any younger isn’t very nice.  I don’t remind you that I work twice as many hours and make damn near $15,000 a year more than you do.

My relationship, both my boyfriend and my friends.  I love my friends, and will do almost anything for them, and I’m aware that some of them are what you consider “trouble makers”.  Regardless, they’ve saved my ass, from calling an ambulance for me after a med interaction to picking me up when I was stranded, to defending me from my ex husband’s attacks to convincing me to plan out my future.  I love them, and because you can’t seem to keep your mouth shut, doesn’t mean I not going to hang out with them.  Oh yeah.  And the boyfriend.  Yes.  I haven’t killed him yet.  He’s a sweetheart, and those of you know me know that I’m relatively possessive.  No, I don’t care if he has female friends, or goes to a strip club, or whatever (I get strip club rights too… and spending money :)) but however, if you cross that line, if you KNOWINGLY cross that line, I will throat punch you.

My child.  Ohhhhh the arguments I’ve gotten into regarding how I raise my daughter.  From daycare to vaccinations, from clothing to toys, from her lack-of-dad situation to how much I work.  I don’t mention that your 5 year old still rides in a stoller and has a binky, why?  I don’t care, it’s your parenting.  So please respect my decisions and butt out.

The fact of the matter is, I do my best to not judge other’s decisions or lifestyle or whatever you may please…. until you disrespect me.  As soon as that happens, it’s fair game, and trust me, as others have recently found out, it won’t be pleasant.

Until then? See you on the flipside.

OooooO Really?

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I got an interesting text (well many) today.  I found out that you still stalk my blog, twitter and such.  That my name and references to me still frequent your twitter and more importantly your mouth.  While incredibly flattering, honey, next time my name is in your mouth, please do what you do best…. swallow.

Thanks.  :) xoxo