Lets trade places shall we princess? I wish we could. I’d like to show you a thing or to about being a single (or in your case, part time) parent. Hell, I’d like to show you a thing or to about being a woman, a good person, and a human being. Lets take a trip into my world, the world you don’t seem to realize exists, and the world you deny to hell and back. I’d like to show you the way things are… in your little world and in mine. Shall we?
St. Patrick’s Day. I stayed in with my boyfriend… we had been out in the forest preserve all day and on the motorcycle (since my daughter was at a sleepover with her best friend). We stayed in, saved money, went to bed relatively early since the next day was supposed to be nice and we wanted to take the kids to the forest preserve. It was nice and relaxing. I’m sure we would’ve had fun if we went out, but we wanted to avoid spending money, the crowds and police as well as the hangover the next day.
St. Patrick’s Day for you. You went to a wedding that you had helped plan. At 10pm you sent your child home with your parents and stayed to get shit faced. Guess spending the remaining weekend day with your child wasn’t important… especially after you “worked so hard” at the wedding, I’m sure he didn’t get much time with you. So your kid spent the night and grandma and grandpa’s again. I’d totally thumbs up that one… if he wasn’t there on half of your days anyway. Who care’s though right? You worked HARD to help out at the wedding and deserved to spend more time there getting wasted. *Shrugs* We’ll see.
Sunday Morning. We woke up and started coffee around 8am. That way we all had a bit to relax and wake up. Peaceful morning until you called. When we were asked what we were doing today you started railing in my boyfriend about how we need to include your son. You continued to go on and on about how you DESERVED a day off to rest and relax since you were so hungover. Your kid was still at his grandparents. If you had taken a moment to breathe (and most likely sober up a bit) you would’ve realized that we had already talked to your son, and the plan was to go get him. That’s okay though, because when his Dad had told you we’d take him to the Forest Preserve, you flipped out. “Well if you don’t take him the WHOLE day, you can’t see him at all!” and on and on with the break stuff. Well then. I see you’re back at it. This is the second time in 3 months that you have threatened to withhold your son from his father because you didn’t get your way. Whatever. You wonder why people don’t respect you, and why I never will. That’s okay. While you spent the entire day sleeping we went and took the dogs, kids, and ourselves to spend the beautiful day at the forest preserve. It was really nice, your son even found a deer antler! After the forest preserve we came back to my house and played on the trampoline and had some dinner. We called you to see if we could bring your son back, seeing as how it is was your day to see him, after we went to the park, 45 minutes before you had asked we keep him until and you immediately started insulting your son’s father, claiming he never does anything to help you out, even though he had your son 2 out of your 4 days this week. Oh well, we went to the park as planned and showed up half an hour early. I’m sorry you were angry that we wouldn’t keep him over night, so you could “have a night to yourself”… again. But making your child get up 2 hours earlier than normal because we have to work, that would be 6am…. that’s not happening… especially since you failed to mention his cold. He needs his sleep. Plus we needed to shower and get to bed.. because like I said… we work. You know. Day jobs. Sorry. Besides, he needed a shower too, we all stunk! Now I don’t mind driving half an hour away and back to pick your son up, I don’t, I definitely don’t mind him being part of my dysfunctional family, but the least you could do is not insult your ex, and act generally ungrateful towards myself. I guess I’d be a little salty if I slept all day while my kid spent a day outside having fun with my ex’s girlfriend. But whatever.
Now honey, we really do have to talk. We’re going to have a little conversation one of these days. I’m tired of your complaining, I’m tired of you using your son against your ex, and I’m tired of well… you. You seem so ungrateful, but your ex drops everything at the call to see his kid when you’re “too busy”. You seem to forget that you do NONE of the driving when it comes to picking him up and dropping him off. *I* do. Think about how many days he spends at his grandmother’s house. How many *hours* you actually spend with him. You really should get off your high horse there sweetheart, when your son spends more time with relatives and his dad (and myself) than you.
While we’re at it? Stop complaining about working hard. You work at a bar. You refuse to get a normal job. Don’t give me that crap about not being able to find something, check craigslist, monster, hell, take a walk. There’s plenty of day jobs in our town. We’re lucky, our town(s) are rebounding faster than everyone elses. You choose to work until 10pm and then close out the bar with your friends. You choose to. I know. I chose to too. But then guess what? I realized how much my daughter missed me and how much it was impacting our relationship and I got a day job. I’m a single parent like you claim to be. I bust my ass to make sure my daughter has everything, including her OWN roof over her head. Not a room in a friends house. You can do better, I’ve heard how you used to be. I know the bar scene is fun, but eventually you have to do right by your son. I get it, trust me I do, but family comes first. Don’t make the same mistakes I made.
Now speaking of that. That little thing you pulled yesterday with your hangover? You REALLY needed to stay and drink? Well guess what. Responsible parents have two choices. 1. Go home early with their children. or 2. Stay out, have fun, then get up early with their children the next day. It sucks. But it’s called parenting. You can’t always pawn off your kid on someone else. When your kiddo knows “Mommy’s been drinking”, trust me, he’ll remember. Once in a while is okay, but really? You make my teenage years look kind of lame.
I don’t feel pity for you at all. I don’t. Once you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll understand. I hope you get it soon, your son isn’t so little anymore and he’s a very VERY smart boy. Smart boys figure out their parents pretty fucking quick, and you’re on a long walk off of a short pier. Sure. Keep working “hard”, keep drinking hard, keep trying to manipulate everyone else into doing your parenting for you, but I’m warning you, it’ll come back and kick your ass. Not too many people are falling for the woe is me bullshit anymore. You’re not a victim anymore, unless you count yourself a victim of your own laziness. Your kid is going to wise up soon, and your ex already has. I hope for your sake you wake up and step up before it’s too late…. because trust me… you want to be a good parent to that boy. That boy deserves it. Just like mine does.