Slice and Dice 2015

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I had my first bowel resection yesterday. Let me tell you, that’s not on the things to do for fun list.. nope. I haven’t had anxiety attacks like that in a long, long time. The day before, lab and the iv team were having a hard time getting blood and keeping me from blowing ivs. I ended up with one on the inside of my dominant wrist. The iv team guy was completely honest with me, he didn’t think it would hold and thought I needed a picc line. At that point I had been stabbed numerous times and my anxiety had gone into full-fuck-you mode.

My surgery was scheduled for 10:30am. Lab came in to try and draw blood and got absolutely none. After the 3rd attempt or so I started to lose it. Had to ask for anti-anxiety medicine. Shortly before surgery, the guy from the iv team blew in to start a mid-line. He was afraid that surgery would blow my last iv and not be able to start another. 4 tries and he got it, but it was pretty gruesome. I’d post a picture, but I don’t want to freak people out. Anyway, it’s much better now that I’m not having an anxiety attack every time someone has to draw blood.

Surgery itself went fine. They removed a small portion of my small intestine and part of my colon. They also were able to detach part of my colon that had decided to cling onto my bladder. No bladder reconstruction needed!

To be completely honest though, the pain is a lot more than I expected. I have a pain pump that I’m just now getting used to using so I can at least get a little comfortable. It’s taken me a little bit to feel comfortable dosing myself, especially due to this one nurse..

Backtrack: there is a nurse on this floor that I’ve been referring to as the Know-It-All-Nurse. She’s the one who originally made me feel uncomfortable here. I’m not much one for pain medication, I don’t take it unless I truly need it. So Know-It-All refused me a shower before surgery because of my continuous drip of prednisone. (I literally had to have my doctor add a note in my chart to unhook me if I ask) So, by cleaning up the best I could, I started to get some pretty bad pain. 8/10 pain. I asked for a half dose of my dilaudid. First thing out of her mouth was a comment about how I should cut down on it.

Excuse me? 1. I wouldn’t be in pain if I could have taken a shower the normal way. 2. I have major surgery tomorrow, and you’re worried about a half dose? And 3. I NEVER ASK FOR PAIN MEDS IF I DON’T NEED THEM.

So whatever. Back to present tense. All day I’ve had my surgeon, the surgical PAs, and my GI telling me to press the hell out of the button on the pain pump. Basically that since I already have inflammation on top of just having major surgery, it’s going to take a lot to make me comfortable. I was having anxiety attacks all morning over pretty much anything because the pain was so bad. I finally got a hang of using it and am halfway comfortable.

In walks Know-It-All-Nurse. She has already been condescending about my not wanting to wear the compression boots because I am up walking and getting blood thinner shots. It took her all of 2 seconds to say “Well it looks like you’re using your pain pump a lot.” Duuude. I’ve never had a nurse talk to me in such a condescending tone. No shit I’m using it a lot. I’m supposed to. I’m already back on the verge of panic and all it took was her showing up. Now I’m such a bundle of nerves that I don’t even want to ask for my anti anxiety medication, I don’t even want to deal with her.

Seriously, the rest of the staff here have been phenomenal but this has been the most nerve-frying, painful stay I’ve had here. This nurse is making it 10 times worse. I’m almost tempted to ask for a different nurse.

Arrgh.

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