High Risk & Losing Respect for Friends and Family


The pandemic has done weird things to people and battered or broke relationships of all sorts. I know I for one have lost touch with family members and friends, and in a strange way, I am glad for it.

I don’t even know what month we’re technically on. It’s gotten to the point where the monotony of semi-isolation is blending my days together. I stay isolated because of the medications I am on, and I keep my daughter mostly isolated as she has asthma. I don’t really go to stores or anything like that, although I do visit a friend of mine, because staying in the house 24/7 surprisingly is a lot more drastic than 24/6 (rough estimate lol).

My point being is that I don’t go out to the bars, I don’t go shopping, I don’t travel to see my family (for multiple reasons now), and I don’t really do much outside of my home. Thankfully my job is remote, so that’s one less thing to worry about.

I didn’t really have a lot friends, nor a want to go out barhopping or anything like that pre-pandemic, so to be completely honest, short of losing date nights, my life hasn’t changed that drastically. The changes that I have endured though have been heart breaking.

I have lost friends, or acquaintances purely because they refuse to wear a mask, or social distance, or the worst? Make comments like “only the sick and weak die, it’s not a big deal”. You don’t have to wear a mask or social distance because our shit-show of a government says so, you should be doing it because it saves the lives of many people.. people like myself and my kid. I’ve slowly weeded people out of my life, because of above opinions, and some of those people included my family.

I’m also grappling with not seeing my immediate family this year. I know my parents traveled early on in the pandemic, (I haven’t inquired about recent travels) and buying into conspiracy theories. Supposedly they wear masks now, but socially distancing isn’t a thing for them. I was invited to spend Thanksgiving with them, but my siblings would be traveling (by plane too) to see them. Masks are not always enough, and that’s too much of a risk for me to take. Not to mention that I don’t condone traveling during this pandemic, even if it was to see my parents and sister, whom I miss. I’m high risk, I can’t do that, and most importantly I can’t risk giving the virus to anyone else as I’m also not perfect. Double-Unfortunate, I worked all around Thanksgiving, because: Black Friday & new job. So I guess it didn’t matter anyway.

I think finding out that people whom you care about, don’t care enough about you (and everyone else) to protect themselves and stay at home has been the most painful part of this pandemic. I’m still processing everyone I’ve pulled away from, and I don’t know when I’ll get over it to be honest.



I’ve been avoiding writing here because everything is just so bleak.

Covid-19 has killed 237k+ people in the United States, and Americans are still complaining about having to wear a mask and not being able to go out to dinner when cases are soaring.. again.

We made it through the election.. kind of. Biden barely won, barely, and Trump is contesting every negative vote count claiming that he won the election. Who knows what will happen when Biden is supposed to take office in January.

Protests against Police Brutality are still happening, but the media and vast amount of Americans do not care.. especially now that Biden has “won” the election. Despite the fact that Biden’s legislation is what set all of this into motion, people seem to think that just because he won an election, police brutality is solved.

There’s not much to update beyond that on a national, newsworthy level.

In my personal life? It’s been a rocky run lately. On the lighter side of that, I started a new job recently, and I’m very grateful for the income. My family is healthy and we have a roof over our heads. That’s good enough for now.

Take care everyone.

Everything is on Fire


This country disgusts me. So do the majority of it’s citizens. I don’t even know where to begin to be completely honest, there’s so much trash right now I just can’t process half of it. I’m disgusted and appalled at family as well as friends, and if I distance myself any more than I already have, I might as well just move to the woods and never see another soul beyond my immediate family ever again.

Covid-19 is still around, which isn’t surprising in the least considering that Americans refuse to wear masks, and sue our governors so they can go and eat at Applebees. We now have over 6 million cases, and more than 186k people have died. We’re projected to hit over 400k deaths in 4 months if Americans can’t manage to wear a mask and wash our hands, and yet people, people I know don’t believe in it or think it’s all scare tactics. Worse? They still parrot the “well, it kills the sick and elderly, so we shouldn’t have to lock down and wear masks.” 180k deaths, and people are still parroting that. It’s really something else to see people you know exclaiming that no one should mask up because people like you and your daughter will die.

Protests against police brutality and racism are still going strong. Places like Portland are well over 100 days into it, and it’s now local as well. Kenosha WI PD shot a man in the back numerous times bringing protests home. The man, Jacob Blake survived somehow. Protests started up immediately, which I whole heartedly support, but the Right & Far Right found a champion which makes me want to vomit.

Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17 year old from Antioch took a rifle that he was too young to have up to the Kenosha protests and murdered two people and severely injured another. He was arrested and charged, the next day, as he went to turn himself in and the police ignored him so he went home. It’s all on video, and yet Conservative Christians and Republicans have some how found a way to rally around him. They call him a patriot, and have raised a large amount of money to pay for his defense. His own lawyer says that he started the new revolution and parrots the patriot garbage.

The protests will continue, as they should as the police have been brutalizing people across the country for using their constitutional rights. Between police shooting people in the head, beating them on live streams and Trump voicing support for Kyle Rittenhouse and Alt-Right Militias, it all seems so hopeless.

All I can do is continue keeping in touch with my immediate community and voice my support for those on the front lines (as my chronic illnesses don’t allow for much else lately). The last few months however, have left such horror and disgust, I’m not sure that it will get better regardless of whether or not Trump stays in office. I do know however that a line has been drawn in the sand, we’ll be in the history books, and more than half of this country will not be on the right side.

Pandemics, Primaries, Economic Collapse & Springtime


Things have changed so much in the last year and more importantly, things will never be the same. I thought about it for a while, and decided that it seemed right to archive my previous posts. While a lot of them were still relevant, they seemed so.. distant, and I just wanted a fresh start.

April 2020. Four months into the year and it feels like we’re four YEARS in. We’re currently under a “Stay at Home Order” and have been for a couple of weeks because of the Covid-19 pandemic. It’s a respiratory virus from the SARS family that has been spreading like mad.

Screenshot 2020-04-09 at 2.52.48 PM

Because the majority of our country and most of the world is quarantining, the economy is suffering. 6.6 million Americans filed for unemployment just last week since most stores, restaurants and the rest of the economy has closed down.

Predictably, our government under the Trump administration has fumbled the pandemic response. Hospitals are overwhelmed, trust in the government is low, and fear is skyrocketing. Trump himself is all over the place, his twitter is a minefield of dementia riddled attacks on everyone from the press to senators to governors to other countries. His comments and actions (golf trips) on the virus itself show how unprepared he is for a crisis of this magnitude.


Needless to say, he’s here to stay. Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the race for president. So our lovely two-party system has decided that our choices yet again are Democrat or Republican, Joe Biden or Donald Trump. Unfortunately Joe Biden has a very problematic history including but not limited to racism, homophobia, and rape. Ironically so does Donald Trump. So, I guess it’s just more of the same.

I haven’t quite processed all of my feelings on all of this yet, so that’ll be a post on another day. Beware though, you probably won’t like what you read.