Daylight Savings Time – I’m alive!


Daylight Savings. My internal clock is all sorts of screwed up, my body feels like we jumped ahead multiple hours instead of just one. It should be just about dinner time, we’re just starting to prepare.. yet it’s 7:15pm. Crap. By the time it’s done it will be almost time for the short one to go to bed.

It’s almost spring. It’s almost time for the snow to stop, and rains to come. This week we’ve already started the rain, and have a bit of 60s to look forward to. Then it will get chilly again for a while it looks like.. just in time for my birthday in the beginning of April. Par for the course.

I do have to say, now that it’s daylight earlier and later, my body is getting back on a schedule. I’m one of those people who tend to sleep and wake with the sun. During the summer, I’m an awful companion as I’m wide awake at 5:30am and going strong until late night hours. I can survive on 5-7 hours of sleep without noticing. During the winter though? You guessed it, I’m tired by 5pm and can barely drag myself out of bed before 8am.

For someone with depression, it’s a recipe for disaster. I seem to spend all winter long sleeping, trying to find a way to keep moving and to cheer myself up, and wanting to sleep.

I noticed these last couple of weeks though, that I’m actually waking up on my own (sans alarm) when it’s light out. I am able to get out of bed rather quickly, at least for someone with IST and POTS. I am not exhausted all day, and have the motivation to get my chores done. The need for summer months is real.

My insomnia is still around though, but now that I’m not working, it’s more manageable. If I’m up, I’m up. I’ll play a game, or write a little bit. There’s no need to beat myself up for hours about “why can’t I just fall asleep, I have to be up for work soon”.. which we all know just makes it worse. Now, it’s just more quiet time I have to myself, plus.. there’s always new science articles to read!

I think my kiddo takes after me. She tend to go to bed early during the winter months, not to mention embrace days on the couch under our comforter when there’s snow on the ground. Now that daylight seems to be permeating our lives a bit more, we have plans to go on walks this week, and take care of some of the outside chores. At least we know how each other work for each season and can plan accordingly.

Ahh. 60 degrees with a little drizzle later this week. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts! I have to haul our old wooden bed frame out to the street for the garbage men to pick up, and the last wind storm knocked quite a few branches off of my trees. I’m looking forward to strapping on my junk boots and cracking a beer and spending some time taking care of it all. From the looks of it, the raccoons managed to knock over a couple of my ladders too.

The first few good days of spring are probably my favorite. It’s the time to open all the windows in the house and get the musty smell out. Time to get all the branches and stack them for kindling for the summer fires. There’s nothing like clearing your yard and planning (or re-planning) your garden and flower beds.

One of my favorite things? It’s time to feed the squirrels and raccoons. I live in a lower class subdivision, we all have modest houses and smallish yards. Of course, like all old neighborhoods, we have plenty of mice and raccoons who live right along side of us. The way I figure it, is they’re going to be there anyways, so they might as well get snacks. I usually clean out my pantry in the spring. Old cereal, chips, etc all get placed in a bowl in the front yard for the neighborhood scavengers. Any old fruit or veggies, even old bread I might have on hand, goes on top of the table on my deck or on my front step for the squirrels to scurry away with. Granted, I am a bit more careful with the old dog going outside around this time (as we’ve already learned the skunk lesson once, and don’t need to learn it again), I don’t mind having to take her out and check the yard first opposed to just letting her out the backdoor. I just figured, we all made it through the hard winter, why not share a bit of food I’m just going to toss (and the raccoons are going to raid from my trash) anyway?

This is also the time of year when we’ll see the neighborhood cats more. There’s a few strays that wander around, and a few bold outside pet-cats that stray more than a few blocks in the spring. Watching my two indoor cats bristle in the windows is amusing to say the least. Also lets me know if I need to set out a bowl of kibble too.

Spring is also for my projects to begin. I have to fix my bird feeder, as the fat squirrels last fall finally broke the rope that was thread through it. I need to organize the shed and build a second “attic shelf” in there. The deck will need to be scrubbed, the chairs hosed down, and once the last freeze is past, grass seed placed. The difference this spring? I won’t be doing it in between horrific days at work and panic attacks about work in the evenings and on the weekends. I’m absolutely looking forward to walking the short kid to school, then coming back to putz around with my projects and outside chores.

Before we know it, it’ll be summer, and it’ll be a whole new thing for me. This year, since I’m not working, I’ll have both girls at home with me. My daughter thrives off of structure, and the boyfriend’s daughter desperately needs it, so I’ll need to start coming up with a plan soon. Not to mention the regular chores that come with having kids during the warmer months. I need to replace the bicycle seat on Noodle’s bike and double check the chain. I need to find a neat way for the girls to store them when they’re done riding, as bikes strewn across my yard is amuisng, yet an open invitation for bike thieves. I need to weed through all of the sports equipment, throw out the broken stuff and replace anything that’s worn. I also need to dig out the flower garden for the tall kid, and get a flower planter for the short kid. Plus all 3 screens in their bedroom windows need to be replaced. Le sigh. Lets not even talk about clothes shopping.

Either way, this winter is coming to a close. Finally, and I think I made it, and I hope you did too.


Snow Snow Rambling Snow Snow


The first big snow of the season is supposed to come this weekend. Sure, we’ve had a dusting or two, maybe a couple of inches, but they are saying it could be 6-10 inches over the course of 48 hours.

As much as I hate Winter, I do look forward to the first snow storm. Something about it brings out something very childlike in me. I have so many memories attached with the first snow and getting excited for Christmas, that I can’t help but be a little bit thrilled when the first snow storm hits. Not to mention, we’ve had a handful of years where it didn’t snow until after January, so huzzah to snow for Santa.

I do have some things to do before the snow gets here. I decided against putting up Christmas lights on the outside of the house, (got the inside covered!) but I do need to move some things into the shed and pull out the snow shovels. Just generally clean up the yard so I don’t have to do quite as much in the spring. The snow is supposed to start tomorrow evening, so I know what my day plans are for tomorrow.

Thankfully I don’t have any plans for this weekend. I did most of my present – shopping online this year, so beyond one more day with a trip to a couple stores, I’m done. So while the snow is piling down, I’ll be at home with my tea, occasionally shoveling but mostly binge watching Netflix and random cleaning. Unfortunately the boyfriend, Jon has to work, so I’ll be worried about him driving, but I’m sure he’ll be fine. Hopefully the snow slows down by Monday so my own commute to work won’t be too bad.

Other than my excitement for the white shit that falls from the sky, things are.. okay. The short kid is excited for Christmas, I got her one big present and some smaller things, and of course Santa is coming to my house and Grandma and Grandpas.

I’m trying to share in her excitement but of course, for I assume all single parents, the holidays are a stressful time. Jon has helped out with some gifts, and has been helping me tackle some things around the house I haven’t had time for so that’s definitely been helping. Just trying to stay on top of all the household chores and the finances is kicking me when I’m already down.

Of course my FMLA for work had expired, and getting it renewed isn’t exactly easy. I’m trying to be patient and understanding, but it hasn’t been easy on the corporate side of things. Thankfully I have a couple of friends who either work in employment law or are very familiar with FMLA that are guiding me through it. Of course, all of that just adds stress on top of what I already am dealing with, plus being sick. That’s how it always works. When it rains, it pours. (Or in this case, SNOWS!)

Other than that, one thing I don’t have to worry about is my car. My lovely Rav4 hit 250,000 miles the other day. We rebuilt the transmission 2 summers ago, so that’s been good. However, my wheel bearing went out. I went to get that replaced, and also replaced the ball joint as well as finally getting new tires for it. It was time, I couldn’t put it off any longer as they were pretty bad and I was sliding on just wet pavement. Of course that set me back quite a bit, but it needed to be done, and thankfully it is done just before the big snow.

I am still reminding myself to think of the good things, because like anyone else under a lot of stress, it’s easy to take life for granted. I’m very lucky, even though I’m having a tough time with my health, I’ve also been much sicker. I may be stressing about finances, but I have my house, car and decent job. I may get overwhelmed, but I’ve got a smart cookie for a kid, and a very loving boyfriend (who brought me a chai at work today because I was having a rough day!). There’s an upside to everything, and I am very blessed to have the life I do and the people in my life.

Knit Hats and Warm Scarves


Growing up in the Midwest, I swore that I was going to move somewhere with out winter… every winter of my childhood.  I’m not a fan of cold or of the snow, so playing outside and building snow forts and lopsided snowmen did not intrigue me in the least.  Once Halloween rolled around, I started to count down the days until Spring and Summer.

I’m 28 years old now, will be 29 this spring.  Over say the last 5-6 years, I’ve grown to appreciate the Winter.  I still don’t look forward to driving in snow storms, or power outages and black ice, but snow? Yes.  Wearing my favorite winter jackets, my handmade scarves and hats?  Hell to the yes.  I look forward to warm fires up at the lake house, watching my daughter (who unlike myself, likes to play in the snow) run around like a maniac in the fresh powder.  I look forward to hot tea by the window watching snow fall, and maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll see a few cardinals out in the trees.

Winter’s not so bad.  Even when I start to get tired of it, say in late February or early March, it’s a good reminder that spring is coming.  Winter breaks up the monotony.  I get a couple months to look forward to planting in our garden, summer cook outs and fresh corn on the cob.  I get to alternate from iced coffee on my back deck to hot tea under a fuzzy blanket.  I get to switch from my broken down flip flops to my knee high comfy boots.

So apparently there is some huge winter storm bearing down on us tonight.  Depending on what weather report you read, we’re supposed to get anywhere from 5-10″ of snow, and we’re under a Winter Storm Warning until Sunday night.  Judging by the response from my other Midwestern friends on social media, you’d think this was the end of the world and snow is actually made of shredded dreams and broken hopes.  Shit.  I may be the only one excited.

I’m not sure if I’ll be home for the snow storm or not, I’m currently in the hospital for my Crohns Disease, but I’m crossing my fingers!  I am excited for the first big storm of the year, I want to watch my daughter play in the snow, and curl up in my own bed to watch the snow fall.  Even if I’m wait out the storm here, connected to my IV, I can guarantee I’ll weasel some hot chocolate out of someone here so I can still sit by the window.

We might as well enjoy the snow, as of now [thanks global warming] it’s only here for a few months out of the year.  So let’s watch the snow fall, and relax.  Spring is only a couple months away.

The Winter Blues


It seems like Winter will never end some years. Then other years, like this one, winter never seems to even get going.  These past few months make it seem like Mother Nature just can’t make up her mind. We got our first snow really late, then it warmed up and melted, rinse and repeat a few times.

So now, at the end of February, its sunny and over 40 degrees outside. Everything is melting again and it smells like spring. Yet tomorrow we’re due another snow storm with up to 6 inches of snow. Im sure it’ll warm up again and it’ll all melt… again.

It’s slightly aggravating.  Especially for someone like me who tends to get a bit depressed during the winter months.  Thankfully there is more daylight now and better yet we’re comimg up on daylight savings time again.  So there’s that… but Christ, could the snow just melt and stay melted already?  Its like nature’s version of a cock tease… and I’m getting the feeling shes not going to put out.

All I know is that I’d rather be shopping for my flowers than dreading shoveling snow again.

I just threw a spatula at my dog.


Today is going to be a great day.  I can just tell.  I’ve been trying to kill people through my computer screen all morning, and, 2 hours after waking up, finally was calm enough to post a status on facebook.
You know.  One that’s cute and funny, and slightly witty, so I don’t seem like as big of a bitch as I feel right now.

Half of my male readers just shook their head and thought “Pmsing much Sarah?”
The other half?  “Ha, people think she’s Pmsing.  Nope, she’s just a bitch”.
Thanks guys.  I appreciate it.  Just be glad I can’t reach you through this screen.   Because I totally would.

Today my coffee intake is high.  I think I’ve crossed the line.

It’s like this:

or +Meth

It’s going to be an interesting day.  The Violence is Caffeinated in this one.

So.  I’m standing at my side window.  Watching my dogs obnoxiously roll in the snow/mud that is my “driveway”.  It’s great.  You know, I live for mopping and all, so why not?  Lets turn my house into a mudbath?!  DO IT.  So, I’m standing there.  Kind of twitching as my dog Star eats something resembling her own shit and all of a sudden… the tarp covering my lawn mower twitches.  Twitches.  Just like me.  Did I just see that?

Well apparently I did.  It wasn’t an caffeine induced hallucination.  Lily saw it too.  Then Star.

Then it’s like watching the Discovery Channel.  Both dogs get real low to the ground.  Tails straight back, Hair raised.  I watch the tarp.  If it’s a possum… ew.  I’ll let the girls have it.  But then.

Then.  I see a nose.  A cute furry nose, which if you didn’t know, possum’s do NOT have cute noses.  Then whiskers poke out.  OMG IT’S A BUNNY.

Here is where you see I’m a bit off.  Instead of going outside, or opening my windows.  I grab a spatula.  A fucking spatula.  I open the back door.  I watch my dogs stalk the bunny for  minute.  THEN FLING THE SPATULA AT THEM.

For your information.  It was a plastic spatula.  One that wouldn’t hurt my dogs.  Or one that I wouldn’t miss when I’m cooking.  Because that’s important too.

Both dogs yelp as if they’re under attack.  And bolt straight under my legs and back in the crate.  I watch as said bunny pokes his nose out.  And then comes completely out after realizing it’s safe. I shut the door and wish I had rabbit for rabbit stew.

Yes. My big bad pit mixes just got scared by a bunny and a spatula.

It’s one of those mornings.

And I haven’t retrieved my spatula.

And I made a fresh pot of coffee.

Children are meant for slave labor and other SNOMG tales.



No seriously, (I’m about to get all blasphemous here), it’s like God took a shit, froze it, and threw it at Northern Illinois.

Wow.  Blizzard of 2011.  SNOMG.

So we all lived through a blizzard.  However, I am deeply convinced that during SNOMG 2011, some of you heathens lost some braincells.   What happened people, did yah forget we live in the midwest… and every handful of years we get a shit ton of snow?  Yes, I too woke up this morning, stretched and yelped “Good Morning SIBERIA!? WTF.  Okay when did I move?!  Do I still have pants on?”  Yes.  It snowed a lot.  But come on guys, we were EXPECTING IT FOR DAYS.  Literally.  3 days ago the news/government/City of Chicago/State of Illinois/National Weather Center said “Hey guys, guess what, we’re getting a big fucking BLIZZARD” then yesterday BEFORE IT STARTED GET BATSHITBALLSTOTHEWALLINSANE, Chicago said “Hey lets use common sense, please stay off the roads” <- Literally.  Mayor said that.  They told everyone it was going to be bad, “life threatening” and dangerous.  Yet some people went driving anyway.  ANNND they got stuck.

Apparently, for the first time in recorded history, Sarah, queen of going out/wrecking cars/driving in the snow was smarter than a good chunk of IL.  Yes.  Bask.  Bask in my glory.  Now bring me wine.  Merlot.  Please.  Needless to say, for living in the midwest, it was a great storm!  My fellow snow-dwellers, you didn’t impress me though.

Moving on.  So yesterday evening, I spent the majority of my time, shaking my fist at the sky.  My neighbors actually caught me yelling “Pussy Ass Snow Storm” with my fist aimed towards the snow flakes falling on my head.  You know, I really am impressed with their care for me, seriously, despite calling me crazy and feeding me both food and beer, they’ve never once avoided me, even when I’m half naked in The Pink Robe.

Then it started coming down.  Around 11pm, my car looked like this:

Look. It’s my car! It doesn’t look half bad when it’s covered in snow!

So I really wasn’t impressed.  I was like “Oh big deal, SNOMG, you suck at snowing me in.”  I went to bed, all cozy in my blankets thinking “Tomorrow’s going to be easy”.   You know.  I think I talked too much shit.

Dude, where's my car?

It actually took me a minute to realize some one hadn’t stolen my car.  I mean seriously, it’s a great car!  All 4 corners are smashed in almost the same amount!  It’s like a bumper car with out the rubber bumpers… or parts of the regular bumpers.  I was livid.  I opened my door… dude.  I can do this.  I can DO THIS.  I mainlined some coffee, strapped on my boots and set to work.

I don't know if you can see it, but there is pure awesome-ness under that pile of snow.

I didn’t realize that the snow was CHEST DEEP.  It seriously was up to my chest through the ENTIRE DRIVEWAY.  Because I share a driveway, and the way my neighbors parked their cars, my yard/drive was one giant snow drift.  The picture above.  I held the camera at head height.  I was waist deep… 15 feet away.  Good god.

Look.  I did it.  I FUCKING DID IT.  BRING. ME. WINE. NOW.

3 hours.  3 freaking hours.  My neighbor (to the right, the cool one) was out doing his driveway.  3 hours of us bitching, spitting, him bitching about how his slave labor ran off on him, myself bitching that mine was labor prime yet.  3 hours of sweat, thrown backs, and pissy spanish only neighbors.  I did it.

I think I learned something.  I’m never going to shit-talk a blizzard again.  Nor am I shoveling again.  So my neighbors better hope it doesn’t snow again.