Anxiety & Late Night Thoughts

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I managed to get a bit of my outdoors to-do list done today, or rather yesterday as it’s now 1:10am. The sun was out after a few days of a good soaking rain, so I went and dug up and turned over the soil in my five raised garden beds. I had already planted two rows of lettuce and my chives (as they always seem to be a bit heartier than the rest of my regular crops) but finished almost all of the rest of it with a little bit of effort.

In the first bed I have the two rows of lettuce, chives in a corner, and two different pepper plants. This year we’re growing bell and shashito peppers.  In the plot next to it I have two rows of cucumbers, no trellises yet as I’m going to wait for them to sprout and see what needs to go where. In the next plot I have my two tomato plants. Usually I have four tomato plants, but the last year I had a lot of food waste and decided to downsize. I chose Celebrity and a neat heirloom. The fourth plot I have two rows of green beans, didn’t place trellises there either, just waiting to see what comes up. I also have a cute little hanging pot full of strawberries. I used to have them in a little section next to my raised beds, but they were awful to get to once the crops came in, and now my lilies started taking over the area too so I opted for the hanging pot.

I still have one more plot to use, but I haven’t decided what to put in it. Usually the last plot is for carrots and radishes, but I’m the only one who likes them so I am forgoing them this year. Eggplant and Zucchini were voted out too, again because of food waste last year and the plants were hard for me to manage. We then have one long garden plot, which we’ve been growing pumpkins in, but I didn’t have the energy to dig up a 10ft by 4ft plot today. Hopefully I can get that done this weekend.

Unfortunately I was not able to mow the lawn today. Last fall I wasn’t smart enough to add oil to the lawn mower, and it looks like it seized up over the winter. I messed with it a little bit but wasn’t able to fix it, so it looks like it’s going out on the curb and I’ll be buying a new one. It just sucks, it’s one more thing on the to-do list that directly effects my pocket book.

I did have a bit of a fall today though. I was walking down the steps for the deck to go get the gas can which needed to be filled up and tripped on one of my pavers I’ve been putting off fixing. A tree root has pushed it up a bit, so my shoe caught the corner of it and my ankle just rolled. It was enough pain to take my breath away, but the pain eased a bit for me to be able to run out for gas and a drive. However I am regretting that choice now, despite some decent painkillers, it’s hard to get comfortable without it hurting.

It was nice, I was able to fill up the gas can and drive my car around a little bit. I just got it back from the shop for the second time. The check engine light has been coming on, and after $900 in repairs, it looks like it will need fuel injectors, which is $600 in parts alone. I’m going to drive it for the weekend, and then take it to emissions testing on Monday. I’m hoping I’ll be able to apply for a waiver as I can’t afford the additional repairs and the repairs total out to more than what my car is worth. So the driving today helped, I’m going to take it out a bit tomorrow, and then on Monday I’ll go get tested.

Admittedly, it’s weighing on my mind quite a bit. The car runs really well surprisingly, but if the state won’t give me a waiver for the light, I won’t be able to drive it. It’s daunting to think about, even more so that something always seems to break before I can save up any money in my emergency fund. I know we’ll figure it out, one way or another. More importantly, I know that worrying about it doesn’t help anything, yet, here we are.

So I guess, I’m going to try and get some sleep again. Good night out there.